Friday night at the 2003 Bermuda Jazz Festival was not a good one for me. The atmosphere at Dockyard was still buzzing with excitement, but my mood was considerably dampened by the realisation that the organising body for this quite prestigious festival has still not reached the level of maturity they need to be taken seriously by the local and international press.

Now before you all write letters declaring that I'm a spoiled prima donna, let's get something crystal clear; I am a professional critic, and I expect to be treated like one. When I am held up at gates or not allowed access to good vantage points, I cannot do my job, it's that simple. I will reiterate (from last year) that there is no other place on earth that treats press with such disdain and disrespect at entertainment events; it really is a sad state of affairs.

It's a matter of luck (for the organisers of this event, which is the only one that gives me trouble every year) that I am a fairly nice guy. If I wasn't, I would nit-pick and harp on the ridiculously long delays, or mention that the line-up of “has-beens” and “never-weres” is growing rather thin, but that's not my style.

So anyway, after about a dozen clueless stares and somewhat impatient responses, I decided to accept that I won't get to see the details on stage and proceeded to compile a review from the nosebleed section. This is how it panned out:

Maurita Andre slipped onto the stage at sometime around 7.45 p.m. to the sounds of her band and three back-up singers harmonising her name over and over. This was probably a way to help her work through nerves, as she was quite visibly nervous on her arrival, but it still seemed rather cheesy. It was just a bit too much for an artist who, for all intents and purposes, was making her stage debut. The fact that Cousin Juicy introduced her as “a legend in her own time” was also a bit much.

The diva routine continued throughout the 30 minute set, openly exhibiting the Bermudian tendency to attempt flight before the art of walking is mastered.

Miss Andre taunted the crowd, told stories that led nowhere, introduced every member of her band as the “hottest” player of that respective instrument on the Island and carried on like she'd been doing this for decades. Not a good idea.

Vocally she was decent, but not decent enough to chastise the crowd about having “no excuse” not to get up and move; those moments were not OK. In the final analysis, Maurita made a go of it. She got up there and did her thing, and garnered polite applause from the near-capacity crowd, but she will need to improve if she is going to continue entertaining in Bermuda or anywhere else in the world; full marks for the look, above average marks for the sound and decidedly low marks for attitude, personality and presence (definitely a foundation to build on).

Classicos Del Son was spectacular, but I couldn't understand a word they said (they spoke Spanish) and they were on for a bit longer than the crowd was willing to tolerate.

BeBe Winans (or, according to CJ: Wayans) delivered a succinct set full of stunning beauty and familial warmth. His sister Debbie joined him on stage to replace the fabulous CeCe and they were nothing short of dynamic together.

BeBe engineered a tight 50 minute performance replete with songs about love and highlighted by the international smash hits “Heaven” and “I'm Lost Without You”. He closed his set by bringing a local friend on stage to have her sing on her birthday; it was all quite pleasant (happy belated birthday Terry).

The best performance of the entire festival was next. The artist was the inimitable Natalie Cole. Ms Cole quietly strutted on stage at sometime around midnight looking ridiculously good in glittery turquoise rock star pants and a turquoise open back top and proceeded to rain blessings on us from her celestial perch.

She opened with the standard “What A Difference A Day Makes” before bowling through “Fiesta In Blues” and the marvellous “Paper Moon”.

She then took us on a ride down “Route 66” before telling us all about the magic of “La Costa” and reminding us just how “Unforgettable” she can be.

We were thoroughly taken by this woman at this point, and when she broke in to the spectacular “This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)” to close the show, she found that our adoration was far too strong for that to be OK. The divine Ms Cole returned promptly and blessed us with a magnificent rendition of “I Got Love On My Mind” before she exited stage left and we all filed out smiling bigger than the noonday sun.