On the outside she appeared perfectly normal, with a strong religious faith and lots going for her, but Beth (not her real name) knew something was not right when she began to hear voices in her head two years ago.

For months she lived with the condition which was later diagnosed as a chemical imbalance and which caused schizophrenia and paranoia. Beth, a single, attractive woman in her early 30s, struggled to deal with what was happening to her and eventually sought medical help. She spent three weeks at St. Brendan's - released at the end of December, 2000 - and was also off work for two months.

Therapy is still ongoing, but she is making good progress, having also returned to work.

“I was seeing different things and a lot of the things I couldn't understand what was happening,” explained Beth of her ordeal. “I always felt that people seemed to know what was going on with me, even though I hadn't said anything.

“If I watched TV it was like the people in the television knew what was going on with me, that they were talking about me. And if people had on certain colours, I would think it meant something. Like if a group of people wore a certain colour I would try to figure out why they would wear those colours.

“I was just experiencing things that people didn't understand. Even when I tried to talk to people they would say, ‘I don't understand what you're going through' and it just came to a point where I felt lost and didn't know what to do about it.”

“Beth” admits the voices, which she began hearing everyday, began to control her life.

“It could have been gradual and I just didn't recognise it right away,” she said of the early symptoms. She wasn't stressed or under any pressure at work.

“Even if I was eating food and somebody else was eating and say they coughed, I would think it was something that I ate that made them cough. I couldn't eat around people and didn't like to spend time around people in case what I did was making them feel bad or whatever.

“I started doing strange things. I think a few people saw it and didn't know what was happening, maybe just thought I was confused. I obviously cried because I couldn't understand what was happening and didn't know what to do about it.

“Being a Christian person you don't think that these things could be happening to you. I broke down and my mom thought that I needed help and that's what brought me here (St. Brendan's). Because I didn't know what it was I guess I really didn't think I needed to see help in the natural sense. I would pray and think that God would help me to deal with what I was going through. It actually took someone from the church to help me to realise that God puts people in place to help people. It was a couple of months before I decided to come up here.”

The Community Mental Health Acute Services is observing Mental Health Awareness Week next week with the aim of raising awareness of the kinds of services they provide. They say more people, because of stress related situations, may need to seek professional help than the community realises.

“It is common and part of the concern, especially with the younger population, is that it takes them a long time to admit or acknowledge that they do have the illness and that tends to hinder their progress,” explained Beth's case manager who asked not to be named in order to protect Beth's identity.

“When you are in denial about having an illness then you are not complying with recommended treatment. There are no known causes (of Beth's type of illness), however there is some research information more or less linking the basis of schizophrenia to a biological nature.

“That's how the chemical imbalance was explained to her to make her understand what is happening because when that occurs her thought processes are not as clear as they need to be. She explained that she was hearing voices, and very often acting on the voices, so when one isn't able to decipher what is real or not then it makes it even more challenging for them to cope and function ordinarily.”

Added the case worker: “One has to comply with the treatment, and identify the stresses and what ones triggers are. Usually it is stressful situations, and the body or the system, can be stressed by various means.

“It doesn't necessarily mean that your boss is getting on your nerves. With some people it may be drinking alcohol or smoking marijuana that stresses your system and can predispose you to develop the illness or for symptoms to break through.

“Even a physical illness can create stress for your body and that in itself could be sufficient. Unless you have gone through extensive gene therapy to identify what gene you carry for what illnesses, you don't know, and any number of circumstances can bring on the onset of a chronic illness or even an acute one.”

Beth's symptoms continued though some people still did not notice any changes in her, including her mother, at least initially. “One day I was at her house and this particular day I really felt lost,” she remembers. “I had gone to work and I didn't see certain people on the job. I was wondering what's going on, thinking ‘has Jesus come and left me behind?'.

“I walked off the job and was just walking, looking around and saw a girl that I knew. She said to me ‘you look like you're in a different world'.

“I went back to the job and the person that was missing, I saw her and felt better. I went to her and started to talk to her about it and started to cry and she said ‘I don't know what's going on with you but I will pray with you'.”

Added Beth: “She did, but that night I went to my mom's house and just cried and cried and cried, I didn't know what else to do. She made the suggestion and called an aunt of mine who is a minister at another church and she talked to me. The next day the three of us came here (St. Brendan's) together.”

Beth was hospitalised and in the three weeks she was there her condition began to improve with medication. Therapy and medication also helped her recall some of her experiences from the previous couple of months.

“I couldn't remember right away, but after I started getting better I was able to remember,” she said. “I was able to talk about it more when I got better.

“If somebody had asked me a year and a half ago to recall some of the things I went through it would have been difficult.

“With the medication at first I didn't want to take it, because I'm a Christian and I believed God would heal. Even as I was taking the medication it took awhile to get better.”

She added: “It has put things back in balance and I feel I'm back to normal again. The medication did have some effects on me as far as feeling tired and gaining weight, but I feel much better now.”

To Beth the voices she was hearing were very real. “I heard voices and I was sort of acting on what I heard,” she revealed. “What I was listening for was the voice of God and I started to hear a lot of other voices.”

Beth says she did not want too many visitors while she was in hospital, only a couple of people. But she says it wasn't because of the stigma of being hospitalised at St. Brendan's.

“It was just what I was going through,” she stressed.

Beth's therapy is ongoing and she often wonders if the voices will come back.

“I had an experience where it felt like it was coming on again and it is kind of upsetting because you don't want to have to go back, you want to feel cured,” she explained.

“The medication was discontinued last September and around March of this year I had a relapse. It wasn't serious but I felt like I needed help dealing with what I was going through in my head. I just felt if I came here that they would be able to help me.”

Beth says her colleagues at work have a great source of support. “They just treated me like I went on vacation,” she explained. “Not many people knew, my bosses knew and told me the main thing is for me to get better. I shared my experiences with one or two people.

“There is no shame. I don't feel I have a problem that should be looked down on. I don't feel there is anything I have done to myself to make this happen. I would tell people if they find themselves in this situation not to be ashamed.”

When asked if she talked to herself during her ordeal she answered with a laugh: “Well, I think everybody talks to themselves. My problem was listening to voices and allowing them to control me.

“I have just put myself in a position where I'm not dealing with that (voices) right now and if it comes up I will just deal with it accordingly. Nobody is perfect, all of us have our problems.”

Beth's case manager said: “If people comply with treatment, progress is pretty good. They can return to normal function and we wouldn't know any different.”