Is domestic violence really such a big problem?

In this country, a woman is more likely to be assaulted, injured, raped, or killed by a male partner then by any other type of assailant.

Domestic violence is believed to be the most common yet least reported crime in our nation. An estimated three to four million American women are beaten each year by their husbands or partners. The US Surgeon General has identified domestic violence as a major health problem to women. Wife-beating results in more injuries that require medical treatment then rape, auto accidents, and muggings combined. Each year, more than 1,000 women - or about four women per day - are killed by their husbands or partners. Domestic violence is indeed a serious national problem that affects not only individual victims, but the entire community as well.

Isn't domestic violence mostly a low-income or minority issue?

Domestic violence occurs among all sectors of society. It happens to people of all racial, economic, and religious groups. For example, police in the mostly white, upper-class Washington, D.C. suburb of Montgomery County, Maryland received as many domestic disturbance calls as were received in the same period in Harlem, New York City.

However, low-income battered women are more likely to seek assistance from public agencies, such as shelters and hospital emergency rooms, because they have fewer private resources than middle- and upper-income women. They are, therefore, more likely to be counted in official reporting statistics.

Aren't husbands and wives equally violent?

In about five percent of reported domestic assaults, the offender is the male victim's wife or female partner. Unfortunately, a well-publicised national survey purported to find that husbands and wives are equally violent. The survey has been criticised by numerous prominent researchers on several grounds. Most importantly, the survey did not find out whether the violence was an act of self-defence nor did it examine the effects of the violence on the victim.

It is known that women generally resort to physical force in self-defence. It also is known that men who batter deny and minimise their acts of violence. For these major reasons, the survey findings are highly misleading and potentially dangerous. Moreover, more than 80 percent of violent crimes that occur outside the home are committed by males. Why would women be so violent in the home, yet generally peaceful outside of it?

Don't most women ask for it?

Battered women are the victims of violence; they do not provoke or deserve such treatment. Typically, abusers blame their victims for provoking the violence because of verbal abuse. Although verbal abuse may cause anger, it does not provoke or justify violence. How a person deals with that anger is a choice - some men choose violence. Only the violent party is responsible for the abuse.

If the abuse is so bad, why do women stay in these relationships?

Actually, many women do leave their abusers. In one study of 205 battered women, more than 50 percent had left the relationship. Moreover, we will never know about the countless number of divorced women who choose not to identify abuse as the reason they ended their marriages.

Battered women, in general, do not passively endure physical abuse, but actively seek assistance in ending the violence from a variety of sources, including police, lawyers, health care personnel, family members, and the clergy. Frequently, it is the failure of these individuals and systems to provide adequate support which traps women in violent relationships. A study of more than 6,000 battered women in Texas found that,on average, the women had contacted five different sources of help prior to leaving the home and becoming residents of battered women's shelters.

Certainly, many battered women also suffer in silence. These women endure physical abuse for a variety of reasons:

A battered woman frequently faces the most physical danger when she attempts to leave. She may be threatened with violence and death or attacked if she tries to flee. She fears for her safety, her children's safety, and the safety of those who helped her.

For many women, leaving may not be an alternative. There may be nowhere to go and little or no resources in the community to help battered women.

Because of religious, cultural, or socially learned beliefs, a woman may feel that it is her duty to keep the marriage together at all costs.

Many women want the violence, not the relationship to end. They may take many steps to try to stop the abuse; leaving the home may be their last resort.

Some women will endure physical and emotional abuse to keep the family together for the children's sake. Very often, it is when the violence is directed at her children that she will take them and leave. More than half of the children whose mothers are battered also are victims of physical abuse.

A woman may be financially dependent on her husband. She will probably face severe economic hardship if she chooses to support herself and her children on her own.

Aren't battered women's shelters just band-aids for the problem?

Battered women's shelters are not a 'band-aid' solution to domestic violence, but an important life-saving response to the problem, just as ambulances and hospital emergency rooms respond to medical crises. Shelters are a critical component of the community's efforts to ensure the safety and protection of victims.

Making available safe shelter for battered women and their children is essential to ensure such protection, particularly for low-income women who may lack the resources to find safety elsewhere. Shelters not only offer women refuge, but other essential supportive services, including legal, economic, housing, and medical advocacy; court accompaniment; employment and job training assistance, support groups for residents and nonresidents; and child care and special children's counselling programs.

But beyond performing crisis intervention and providing essential victim services, shelters are an important grassroots effort towards effecting the social change that is necessary to prevent and ultimately end domestic violence. For example, advocates for battered women, working through shelter programs, have worked to pass important state and federal legislation on domestic violence.In addition, shelters also are the focal point for educating the community about critical issues, training of law enforcement and other professionals who often confront domestic violence in their work, and for establishing and monitoring counselling and education programs for abusers.

Is domestic violence intergenerational?

There is evidence that violence may pass from generation to generation. Boys who witness their mothers' abuse are more likely to batter their female partners as adult than boys raised in non-violent homes. However, not all men who batter were raised in violent homes, so this is only a partial explanation of why some men choose to use violence. On the other hand, there is no evidence that girls whose mothers were battered are more likely to be battered themselves. In fact, the only common factor among battering victims is that they are female. Being a woman is the only identifiable risk factor for becoming a battering victim.

The Physical Abuse Centre is a part of the Family Resource Network, which also consists of the Protection of Children, The Centre for Community and Family Mediation, P.A.R.E.N.T.S. and the Father Resource Centre. The agencies joined in 1998 to better serve Bermuda's families with a common goal and shared vision. If you are aware of anyone open to sharing accommodations, Please contact the Physical Abuse Centre, 292-4366