It is the day before Christmas and all road users from Somerset to St. George's (and St. David's too), agree to adhere to the 35 km speed limit. All class cars, trucks, bikes, just anything on the roads will not move faster than 35 km. This adherence is a Christmas gift to fellow road users and the public alike. Drivers, who just may exceed the speed limit in the 'spirit of the season', will receive a ticket in the form of a musical, neon style flashing, red poinsettia petal attached to the bonnet of their cars. When the poinsettia petal is affixed to the bonnet of the car, simultaneously the carol 'Deck the halls with balls of holly, fa, la, la, la la, la la, la, la la' is sounded. As seen on ZBM, ZFB and VSB, these affixed reminders of 'too much glee on the throttle or pedal,' can only be removed with a special device in the shape and colour of a candy cane, after paying a fine.

My agenda this 24th day of December, begins in Pembroke. I will pick up the fruit for my pudding from Aunt Lil at Hook and Ladder Lane, in Somerset and deliver a special home-made Christmas Ornament to my Mom, at Burnt House Hill, in Warwick. Continuing on to St. David's, my pre-ordered fruit and plain cakes are ready for pick-up from Cousin Peggy Sue.

Starting off at 7.30am, the roads are still moderately quiet. The morning is a damp one as the dew sleeps on the trees, (some lighted) glistening as the sun plays 'peek a boo' through the sky's light cloud cover. Glimpses of the road side homes with decorations of gold, silver and red bows fancifully draped over trees and gates are a feast for my eyes. Near Green Lantern, a house showcases a gigantic snow-man dressed in a tuxedo, with top hat and cane. Passing through Front Street the tinselled, festive windows are just awakening to this new day which promises much activity. The reduced speed allows me to see the extra details of this Christmas cheer.

I wave at Johnny Barnes several times at what appears to be in slow motion. Braking, going down the hill to ensure that I keep to 35km, I am near the Paget stop lights. The light is red, I stop, I yawn and my foot gets cramp. Oh! Joy! How many more miles to reach Somerset?! Exhaling, I try to keep my focus on 'tis the season to be jolly.' This is going to be a very long day! However, in an instant my mood changes when I see the peach taxi heading east from the South Shore stop light well decorated with crimson red and bright green lights. These lights are strategically placed around the interior of the car. Ornaments are dancing, dipping and prancing from the front window. At the back window there is the mistletoe. As the taxi passes by me, the driver is well suited with a wide smile that takes the chill out of the damp air.

Continuing on in a westerly direction at 35km, I notice a lady is squeezing a green, red multi-coloured stress ball, wearing ostentatious red reindeer earrings.

I arrive at Aunt Lil's at 8.25 a.m. and with a big hug and a promise to come back for souse and minced pies, I depart from here at approximately 9 a.m.

Did every one and their uncle decide that they are leaving Somerset too? There is definitely some mishap of sorts to cause the traffic to slow down in this manner. I remain at St. James Church entrance where I am captive to the beautiful sea of flowers on the graves as I reminisce about loved ones. Creeping along, there is an aroma of cakes cooling and someone near Willow Bank is deep frying a turkey outside on a metal grill.

Finally at the crest of Scaur Hill, the source of the delay is revealed. There stands the policeman, the car driver and the infamous musical, flashing, red poinsettia petal on the car's bonnet. All who pass (including me), take extra time to see this new 'enforcer.' Then, I tell you no lie, the driver in keeping with this yuletide season has dressed himself in green and red checked trousers, a flowered green and red jacket with a stripped silver, gold and green tie. He wears one red one green shoe, a brushed red velvet Santa Claus hat with gold, red and green balls dangling from the bottom instead of the tassel. The driver is agitated to receive this citation and he is arguing with the policeman as I pass. By now it is past 9.40 a.m., and I am still in Somerset trying to get to Burnt House Hill and then to St. David's.

Annoyingly so, there is another major delay at the gate to Southampton Princess on Middle Road. The story on the street is that a car has broken down about one hundred feet from Raynor's Garage. The car is automatic and can not be pushed therefore, a tow truck is on its way. I am clueless regarding the reason, but there is also a delay with west bound traffic. Instead of remaining in the cars, drivers are visiting each other on either side of the road, sharing eggnog, recently purchased from near by grocers. We are now experiencing Gridlock!

10.15 a.m., I am mobile again, but 'tis the season to be jolly,' has gone out the window. 10.22 a.m. I pass the stalled car which looks somewhat familiar. It has been ticketed Christmas fashion. At the bottom of Burnt House Hill as I am making the left turn, there is another delay. Maybe the Gombeys have come out a few days earlier or someone is in the middle of the street roasting chestnuts on an open fire. At this stage, nothing will surprise me. A Policeman on a motorcycle, advises that the delay will be no less than fifteen minutes. Someone in the St. Anthony's Churchyard who is aware of the situation is inviting drivers into the Church to see their Christmas Flower arrangements. This is a most beauteous site to behold as fern streamers and red berries entwine the edges of the pews. Candles are in the windows with bases of greenery, baby's breath and miniature red carnations harmoniously placed. The Choir Loft is adorned in a magnificent array of red, green and white. The Alter area welcomes, with two regal arrangements of white with red in the centre set on gold very brilliantly polished pedestals. Being most mesmerised with these joyful reminder of Church tradition, I do not even notice that I have been inside for twelve minutes. I hurry back to the car, back to the 'real world.' Seven minutes later, the traffic begins to move and I arrive at my second stop at 11 a.m.

Before I can even get out of the car, my good friend Mary walks toward me, she is absolutely livid. She has been the recipient of a Christmas 'traffic ticket' only travelling from the Five Star Island area to Heron Bay School. To add insult, her car breaks down. Mary was on her way to the hospital to bring her Godmother some dinner of turkey, ham, cassava pie and mashed potatoes. She asks me to drop her off to the hospital and if I can oblige, drive her back here to Burnt House Hill.

After hugs and kisses with Mom, I am on the road again. With a thankful heart, delays are at a minimum.

My good deed is done but it is now 1 p.m. as I head down Burnt House Hill and subsequently in an easterly direction. I have been on the road for more than five hours with more driving to go. In the vicinity of Spice Valley School a car is being ticketed,

I hear 'Deck the halls with...' and distinctive expletive words that are not synonymous with the Christmas Season, let alone any other season. Fortunately, the road is wide enough not to cause any delays.

Reflecting on the day so far, I can understand why the Road Council and Police Body need to reduce the speed on our roads, but 35km!

With more delays of the 35km kind, I get into town at 1.31 p.m., trying to approximate the time it will take me to get to St. David's.

However, in an instant with a light much a flashing, comes a Policeman on a motorbike and he is a dashing. This dashing stops at my vehicle; I am caught speeding at 40km!

My 'sticker of shame' is affixed to the bonnet of the car. The sound of Deck the Halls is so very piercing. The sound gets louder and louder. Suddenly! In a daze, I awaken to my alarm clock radio at 6:30am, and the Christmas Carol playing at this time is Deck the hall with balls of holly, Fa, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La.

To my relief, this was all a dream! Right?