Local cop learns to heal through new book
Everything in my book is true, and I have the scars to prove it said Mr. Donald during an interview with the Bookworm Beat.
Mr. Donald grew up in Jamaica the illegitimate son of a teacher and farmer. At a young age, Mr. Donald was sent to live with his father and stepmother. They did not welcome him into their home, but treated him like a burden that had been suddenly thrust upon their lives.
He was treated like a house slave by his stepmother, given violent beatings by his father and occasionally deprived of food.
Meanwhile his three step siblings, also living in the house, led normal lives.
?I wrote the book for two reasons,? Mr. Donald said. ?The first reason was as a means of coming to terms with what happened to me. Child abuse is rarely spoken about by the victims.
?Normally, it is shrouded by a veil of fear or shame about the abuse. I also wrote the book as a way to educate the public about the dangers of child abuse and domestic violence. If I can save one child from going through what I went through it will be worth it.?
Mr. Donald said that since he published the book, many people have come forward and shared similar experiences.
?If a child is illegitimate and an outside child and stepparents are involved in can be common,? said Mr. Donald. ?However, not all stepparents are abusive. I know quite a few stepparents who treat their own stepchildren and spouses as though they were their own.
?But I have read quite a few cases of other children who were abused by their stepparents. One of the cases was Nixzmary Brown who was beaten to death by her stepfather in Brooklyn earlier this month. She died from gross neglect by her stepfather. It is more common than a lot of people believe.?
Mr. Donald?s father and stepmother were quite poor, and he believes that there is a connection between poverty and violence in the home.
?I am not an expert on the system, but I have seen that where families are struggling, parents are more prone to subject their children to child abuse,? said Mr. Donald. ?Maybe it is the misery of poverty. I find that poorer families appear to abuse their children more than families that are well off, although this is not always the case.?
In the book, Mr. Donald eventually goes back to live with his mother, who has managed to extract herself from a violent marriage, but is struggling financially.
?I understand my mother?s position at the time,? said Mr. Donald. ?I couldn?t feel angry at her. She was herself in a desperate situation. She was going through domestic abuse, which is also very common. It is a close cousin of child abuse.
?I am not angry at her at all. If I had stayed with her for the entire time, then I probably would have been abused by her first husband, my stepfather, who was also violent.?
?My Life Story? is a very short book, that can be read in an evening. It was painful for Mr. Donald to write, and even more painful for his father?s family to read.
?My father?s side of the family have been very angry and upset about the fact that I wrote the book, but I felt that it was something I had to do,? said Mr. Donald. ?If one was to read the book and put it to them they would deny most of what I have written. Every single word was true, although it may sound incredible.?
Mr. Donald said he is still coming to terms with what happened to him, and has gone through some counselling and therapy.
?It is a difficult thing, and it is even more difficult when you are a child,? he said. ?Now that I am an adult I have pretty much come to terms with what happened, but as a child it can be very, very difficult.?
He said that one of the things that helped him get through his childhood was reading. Throughout his ordeal of abuse he managed to maintain good schools grades, although his teachers never knew what he went through.
?Reading was my escape,? said Mr. Donald. ?I believe that my love of books and reading is what assisted me in being the successful person that I am today.
?I believe Bermudian children need to read a lot more and spend less time watching the television, playing video games and so forth, so that more of them will be able to excel academically and take advantage of the numerous excellent job opportunities that are available in Bermuda.?
He said parents and the education system need to do more to encourage literacy, because it is the key to higher education and better paying jobs.
Mr. Donald said his own childhood quest for justice led him to join the police service in Jamaica. He said when he came to Bermuda to work, he was surprised by the high level of domestic violence in the community.
?Within this community the rates of domestic abuse and violence are very, very high,? said Mr. Donald. ?When I first came to Bermuda I found it alarming that the rates were so high.?
Speaking for himself, and not the Bermuda Police Service, he said that once domestic violence is reported, the complainant should go before the courts before the matter is dropped.
?To often you have victims coming back to the police saying ?I don?t want to press charges anymore? and the matter is dropped. This might be for a number of reasons. The victim might have dependencies. Children might be involved. A whole plethora of issues might be involved, so I can understand why some victims might come back and say they don?t want to take matters any further, but I believe that we have to begin to address matters of domestic violence. Once these matters have been detected they should go before the courts.?