Dear Annie: My daughter is a single mom, and I know she's tired when she comes home from work. According to my 12-year-old grandson, she eats in front of the TV and spends very little quality time with him. She doesn't allow him to walk home from school as she is fearful some evil will befall him. He doesn't even know how to cross the street by himself.

When my grandson visits, he refuses to eat many of the foods set before him. I've tried to discipline him when he's with us, and he responds well, but as soon as his mom returns, he reverts to being a mama's boy. He's doing poorly in school as well, having to repeat classes every summer.

It's been years since my wife and I have been to our daughter's home. The last time, it was filthy and in total disarray. I'm afraid for my grandson. We've talked to our daughter, but she won't listen to us. When confronted with her shortcomings, she becomes disgruntled and cries. Should I report her to the authorities for abuse? She's the youngest child and was shown a lot of love. How should I proceed? — Concerned Grandfather

Dear Grandfather: The fact that your 12-year-old grandson is a mama's boy doesn't make your daughter guilty of abuse. And no mother would respond well when lectured about her shortcomings. You should be more concerned that her house is filthy and her son is doing poorly in school. It could indicate that your daughter has a medical or psychiatric problem. Instead of chastising her, tell her you love her and want to help. Suggest she get a complete checkup and that she discuss her son's academic difficulties with the school counselor. Try to be emotionally supportive so she feels comfortable talking to you and is more receptive to your advice.

Dear Annie: My husband and I attended my nephew's high school graduation party and were snubbed by my cousin's daughter. When I asked her mother what the problem was, I was told "Madeline" is mad because when she graduated, we didn't attend her party and never gave her a gift.

Are we expected to give a gift for a graduation or any occasion if we aren't in attendance? I always thought if you don't go to the party, you're off the hook.

Two years ago, my son celebrated his confirmation, and the only gifts came from grandparents. None of his aunts and uncles sent anything, and my son didn't stop speaking to them. Is my cousin's daughter right? — Concerned in Pennsylvania

Dear Concerned: No. You should not be snubbed because you didn't send a gift. It shows terrible manners and misplaced values. However, we also aren't crazy about the attitude that if you missed the party, you're "off the hook." When it comes to gifts for close relatives or friends, you should want to wish them well, which may include a gift whether or not you attend the festivities. We hope you at least sent your cousin's daughter a card or note.

Dear Annie: Why is it when a man enters his 50s, 60s and 70s, he's considered a "dirty old man" when he's harboring the same normal, healthy sexual feelings he's always had?

I am 58, and whenever a mature woman passes by, I'm not ashamed to look at her backside. And if we meet going in the opposite direction, I don't feel bad about catching a glimpse of her front, either. Yet, society dictates I'm too old to look. Well, go ahead and bury me! Inside, I'm still the same person I was 40 years ago. What are your thoughts? — Healthy in Upstate New York

Dear N.Y.: We're wondering why you think you're so old, and what exactly you are doing to be a "dirty old man." A quick glance is fine, but drooling is not, nor is whipping your head around and making your eyes pop out. It sounds as if you are trying to justify doing something questionable. Are you?