Dear Annie: I’ve been divorced just over a year, ending a 30-year marriage. The divorce was fairly civil.What I’m struggling with is the lack of support from two of my closest friends. The three of us girls worked together in an office more than 20 years ago and maintained a very close relationship, including dinner with the husbands at least once a month, and travelling together.

After the divorce, all the socialising stopped. Even after repeated invitations to my new home, they’ve only come once. I call, but calls are seldom returned. I have seen the girls maybe three times in the last year, but never the husbands. They have added a replacement couple to their group and now celebrate events with them.

Is it unrealistic for me to believe I should continue to be included? — UnhappyDear Unhappy: <$>What you have described is a common response from married couples when one of their group divorces. You are no longer part of a couple, hence you become a fifth wheel when they socialise, and you also may be seen as a threat to the stability of the other marriages.You will have to be content with seeing those female friends a few times a year. Meanwhile, we strongly urge you to broaden your social circle.Dear Annie$>I love my husband a lot, but the way he drives terrifies me. While he is a good driver, he is very aggressive, and I know other drivers are much less skilled. He puts our family in scary situations that require dexterous driving to get us out of danger. Never mind that HE created the situation in the first place.He likes to be ahead of the pack as though it were NASCAR. No matter how often I beg him to slow down, he refuses. He doesn’t see this as being disrespectful to me, although I feel it shows a complete lack of regard for my feelings. He knows I get scared and nauseated, and he doesn’t seem to care. In fact, he gets angry with me for being upset.

I don’t care how he drives when he’s alone, but it matters a great deal if I or our kids are in the car. He absolutely won’t listen to me, and we haven’t spoken in three days. It is unrealistic for us to take separate cars to everything, as well as being wasteful with gas. Am I asking too much? — Out of Balance’s WifeYour husband sees his driving as an extension of his masculinity, and he takes pride in it. When you ask him to be less aggressive, you may as well ask him to wear a dress. It’s immature, but there you have it. Ask him again to drive more carefully for the sake of the children, but if he refuses, we urge you to take separate cars. It may waste gas, but it won’t waste lives.

Dear Ann <$>This is for “Still Young”, whose mother, at 71, went back to work. Mom’s oldest daughters disapprove.At 71, I drove across the country, married my high school sweetheart, took ballroom dancing and had my wife teach me to sing. I’m 75 now, and my wife is 73. We entertain at nursing homes and retirement villages each month. I do stand-up comedy and have taken courses in creative writing. I just published my first non-fiction novel and have two collections of short stories ready to go. If Mom wants to work a couple of days a week, get off her back. Seventy does not mean you are standing with one foot on a banana peel and the other in the grave. — Loving It in British ColumbiaDear BC: You certainly know how to live. After reading your letter, we needed a nap.