Dear Annie: I have been in an up-and-down relationship for 10 years with "Joe." He is loving and affectionate, and very attentive. The problem is, Joe was addicted to drugs and alcohol, and although we made it through that difficult time, it left me emotionally dead.

I love Joe, but he is such a needy person. And all the addictions have left his body in poor condition. He is unable to work and receives a small disability check, so my job pays most of the bills and keeps us above water. We don't have sex anymore because he is not able.

I am only 46 years old. There's got to be more to life. Am I wrong to feel this way? Should I just continue to listen to him moan and groan about how bad he feels and watch him nod off because of his medicine, or should I tell him I can't deal with this anymore and try to make a life of my own?

The only time I enjoy myself is at church or work, or when I visit my grown children. But then I feel guilty for leaving him home all the time. Please help. — Lonely in Florida

Dear Lonely: Caring for a needy companion is exhausting, and when the problems appear endless, it can drain your last ounce of energy and compassion. You obviously don't want to abandon Joe, but you shouldn't feel guilty about replenishing your spirit by visiting your children or taking other breaks from your daily obligations. You also might look into city or state programs for the disabled that provide employment and counseling services for Joe. It would be best for both of you if he were more independent.

Dear Annie: My wife and I play gin rummy, often when traveling. We both are competitive, and although I can get a bit emotional, I do play by the rules.

During a recent trip, my wife and I played a few games in a public place. We were at a crucial point in the three-game series, when she turned the card that beat me. My response, in the agony of defeat, was to let out a loud "dang it." My bellow managed to turn the heads of several people in the vicinity.

My wife glared at me and snapped, "Don't you ever do that again. You have embarrassed me." Needless to say, I felt terrible about what happened, and my outburst all but ruined our plans for the evening.

I suppose the easiest solution would be to just not play. However, I would sorely miss those few occasions when I win. I am optimistic you will have a better solution. — Be Quiet and Deal

Dear Be Quiet: Actually, we think it's great that you and your wife enjoy playing card games together, and yelling when you lose is pretty normal behavior. Still, it should be fun for both of you. So, work on lowering your voice in public, play with your wife only in private, or play a game that doesn't get you so riled up. Pick an option, any option.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Lonely," who couldn't get a date, and thought I'd share my experience with a nice guy, "Paul." Paul made it perfectly clear that he wanted a wife and family and felt time was running out. I did eventually agree to one date, but I was very uncomfortable the entire evening, because I knew his ultimate goal was marriage.

"Lonely" may be putting too much pressure on the girls he meets without even realizing it. No matter what he has going for him, if he is scaring women away, he will be lonely. He should take a serious look at what he tells these women. Some things are best left unsaid until much later. — No Pressure

Dear No Pressure: You are right. Most women tend to prefer guys who play it cool and take things slowly. Guys who are too clingy can make a gal run in the opposite direction.