Dear Annie: Two years ago, I filed for divorce after 18 years of marriage. I had fallen in love with my co-worker, “Hal,” and thought I would be happier. The divorce was a shock to my whole family. It devastated my husband and children, who chose to live with my ex.After a short time, I realised I had made a terrible mistake, but to save face, I married Hal anyway. I didn’t want to be the laughing stock of the town or hear my family say what a fool I had been.

The problem is, I still have feelings for my ex. I look forward to the time we are together because of the kids. I have even started making excuses to call him or be alone with him to discuss the kids. We are often intimate on those occasions.

Even though Hal is a good person, I don’t love him like I do my ex. However, before I could discuss my true feelings with Hal, we found out he had cancer. Although the cancer was treated and he is OK, I don’t feel I can leave him now. My ex has told me that he still loves me, but because he knows I won’t leave Hal, he says we should stop being with each other.I feel guilty not loving Hal more, but I want to be back with my ex. I’m afraid if I wait, my ex will find someone else. What do I do? — Wishing I Never Had an Office Romance

Dear Wishing:>Don’t compound your original mistake by making another. You have no guarantee that your ex wants you back or would ever trust you again. You are now married to Hal, and he needs you. You owe it to him and to yourself to give it your all. Please get some counselling, with or without Hal, and see if you can improve your marriage and be a totally committed partner — something that seems to be a problem for you.

Dear Annie: I’m 34 and eight years sober. I am of a nontraditional faith, and derive much comfort and serenity from it. By nontraditional, I mean it’s not one of the well-known organised religions. Most people are not very understanding about my choice, so whenever possible, I talk in general terms about my spirituality. Even in my recovery group, I do not share information about my religious beliefs.The problem is my older sister, “Serena,” who is out to reform our family and bring us all to her faith. I love my sister, but am fed up with the preaching and am ready to break off the relationship. I’ve tried to let Serena know that I have faith and spirituality, but it’s not enough for her. She wants me to be with her in heaven when she dies.I’ve listened with an open mind. I’ve studied her religion and chosen my own path. Please advise. — Just Another AlcoholB>

Dear Another: Serena is determined to “save” you and will not be deterred. When she preaches, say, “Sorry, I’m not interested.” If she persists, learn to turn a deaf ear, or get up and walk away.

Dear Annie: I could have written the letter from “Wife Without a Motorcycle,” whose husband attended a bike rally where there were semi-naked women. I was disappointed when you said, “The women are simply displaying the goods in a way everyone will notice.” Such behaviour borders on public nudity, which is against the law. Some of the pictures my husband brought home were downright nasty. These women should not be allowed to work in a public place with basically no clothes on.Accompany him next time? There won’t be a next time. — Some Things Just Aren’t RiDear Some Things: We aren’t condoning such behaviour, we are simply saying it exists in such venues, so people shouldn’t be surprised. Plan accordingly.

Happy Chanukah to all our Jewish readers.