Dear Annie: During 33 years of marriage, my husband seldom, if ever, removed his wedding ring. However, during the past four months, I’ve noticed it’s off a lot more than it’s on. I’ve discovered it in his jewellery box, the glove compartment of his car and, one day while doing laundry, it fell out of his shirt pocket. When I questioned him, he gave me vague responses like, “It felt loose,” or “I took it off to do yard work.” Like a foolish, trusting wife, I believed him.

The other day I ran into one of his co-workers. “Denise” is very attractive, and they have worked together for many years. I don’t know her well, only enough to make casual conversation. However, when I saw her, she seemed uncomfortable and very ill at ease. Then my whole world collapsed around me. She said, “I’m sorry to hear you are getting divorced soon.” I told her she must be confusing us with another couple and that our marriage is stable and intact. She looked like she was going to be ill and made some excuse about being in a hurry, and off she went.

Then it hit me. My husband must be having an affair with this woman. It explains everything. I need to confront my cheating husband because this is tearing me to shreds. I don’t have a clue how to go about doing this. How do I begin? What do I say? My marriage is over, so please don’t advise me to try counselling. The love and trust are gone. I just need to know how to bow out gracefully. — Still Devastated

Dear Devasta:<$> We know the circumstantial evidence seems convincing, but be sure. Schedule a quiet, private moment with your husband, when you are calm, and say, “I saw Denise the other day, and she told me you want a divorce. When were you going to tell me?” This should open up a conversation, although it may not be the one you want. We still recommend counselling — not necessarily to put your marriage back together, but to help you work through your anger and sense of betrayal so you can move forward. Good luck.

Dear Annie: I recently returned from a vacation where I visited a close friend whom I’ve known for a long time. While there, he told me he loved me. I have loved him for a few years, so I told him back. We spent the rest of the time there as a couple, but when I returned home, things changed. I think about him all the time, and he thinks of me, but how can there be a relationship if we are so far apart?

I have been considering moving to his city and have saved money for it. Is it worth relocating for love? Is it worth changing everything about life for one person? — Lost Between Places in British Colia

Dear Lost:<$> Well, yes, if you truly love him and believe you have a future together. This kind of commitment requires a leap of faith, and either you are willing to risk it for him or you aren’t. It might help to plan another vacation soon to make sure you are both on the same page and still feel the same.

Dear Annie: My best friend is a Korean War veteran who receives medical care at the VA hospital for his war-related injuries. Last Christmas, he received a handmade greeting card from a youngster. He treasures that card, and it holds a place of honour in his office. Even though he is a successful businessman and has a family, it made him feel like a million bucks to be remembered for his service and to know that young people are being taught about veterans. I hope that all those who send cards to our vets have a chance to know how much it means to the recipients. — Illinois end

Dear Illinois:<$> Every year on Valentine’s Day, we ask our readers to send valentines to our veterans. Thank you for letting us know that such cards and good wishes are appreciated, no matter when they arrive.