Dear Annie: <$>After 24 years of marriage, I found out my husband, “Mac”, had been having a seven-year affair with a woman in our social group. This came as a complete shock to me and our three children.Here’s the real problem: Mac refuses to leave the family home, and for the past four months has been openly dating his mistress. I have repeatedly asked him to find his own place and give us the space to work out a legal separation, but after three months of trying unsuccessfully to get him to see a counsellor or work with a mediator, I finally filed for divorce. Mac’s latest fabrication is that he does not believe in divorce and this whole thing is my fault. He says I am destroying everything by my irrational behaviour. I have been seeing an excellent counsellor and have lots of support from friends and both sides of the family. However, no one will stand up to him and tell him to leave.

Our children are having a very hard time dealing with this. I provide most of the family income and could move, but don’t want to uproot our kids. I am trying very hard to be the best possible parent under these difficult circumstances.

Help me understand a man who refuses to leave even when he could be free to live with the woman he destroyed his marriage for. The court believes couples should work it out. Changing the locks is not legal, and throwing all his clothes in the girlfriend’s yard will not get him out of the house.

Are there options other than moving? The divorce process takes longer than I can bear. — Canada<$>Dear Canada: Mac sounds as if he has a few screws loose, and we suspect he will make the divorce as difficult as possible. He also may be trying to look good in front of a judge by showing his “devotion” to his family. If you don’t have an attorney, get one immediately and discuss legal ways to get Mac out of the house.

Dear Annie: <$>I invited a co-worker and two friends to my house for dinner. Five minutes after they arrived, one of the male guests asked my husband to turn on the TV so he could watch “Monday Night Football”. Then this same guest asked one of the female guests to move to another seat so he could see the game better.Everyone laughed, but I found it rude for this person to come into my home and make these demands on his first visit. What do you think? — Banned From My HomeDear Banned: Unless this was an extremely informal gathering of close friends, yes, your guest was quite rude. You or your husband should have informed him immediately that the TV would be off for the duration of the dinner.

Dear Annie: <$>The letter written by “Tired of It All in the Midwest” could have been written by my wife. “Tired” said her 55-year-old husband constantly ogled and fondled her, even in public. For the first 25 years of our marriage, I engaged in exactly the same manipulative behaviours she describes. I lived in a world of sexual fantasy, created and fuelled by pornography. I treated my wife as a sexual plaything.Fortunately, my wife insisted on taking steps to bring me back into the real world and build a new life based on genuine love and mutual respect. As long as “Tired” continues to accommodate her husband’s behaviour, he will not change and her misery will go on. She must take a firm stand and say, “No more weirdness”. To do this, she will need outside help and encouragement.

I wish her well in the struggle that lies ahead. — Saint’s Husband<$>Dear Saint’s Husband: <$>Thanks for being the Voice of Experience. We hope “Tired” will take your advice.