Dear Annie: My husband and I are both in our 40s. We have always had a good marriage and have been blessed with three wonderful children.

Last weekend, while searching for some important papers, I was shocked to find my husband’s secret collection of women’s fashion catalogues. There was no pornography, but after looking at some of the pictures he had clipped, it became obvious that he has a fetish for women wearing leather, high-heeled boots and other provocative outfits.

Initially, I was angry and hurt, but I cooled off. I confronted my husband, and he apologised. He got rid of the pictures and assured me he loves only me. He even sent me flowers the next day. However, I just received a rather large package in the mail. I was shocked to find inside a black leather miniskirt, satin camisole, thigh-high boots and fishnet stockings, accompanied by a rather suggestive note from my husband. I told him I could never wear anything like this, and he responded, “Just wear it in the bedroom.”

I want to fulfil my husband’s sexual needs, but I worry he will be disappointed when he sees me wearing such a revealing outfit. I’m not as svelte as I once was. What should I do? — A Self-Conscious Wife

Dear Wife:<$> Wear it anyway. Your husband is giving you the chance to fulfil his fantasies. He wants to see the woman he loves in the get-up of his dreams. To him, you are sexy, and dressed in those clothes, you would be irresistible. We say, turn down the lights and give it your best shot.

Dear Annie: Once again I’ve been trapped for an hour on the telephone by a dear friend who thinks my time is all hers to mindlessly chatter away about her life, despite all attempts to politely extricate myself.

Why do people think that when I answer the phone, I have nothing else to do with my time and want be imprisoned by a one-sided narrative? I always precede my conversations with, “Is this a convenient time to talk?” and then keep it short. But I am constantly amazed by those who chatter away endlessly despite all my desperate attempts to escape.

If your friends screen your calls or don’t call you back, perhaps you are trapping them on the phone too long. If people avoid having a conversation with you, maybe you talk too much. If you are the only one talking after a while, be quiet! No one enjoys being engulfed by verbal diarrhoea. Consuming your friends’ time with no respect for their priorities is inconsiderate. — Broken Ear in Californi>

Dear Broken Ear:<$> Believe it or not, some people don’t mind this, but it can be a major ordeal for others. The trick to getting off the phone is to be pleasant and quick. “It’s been great talking, but I don’t want to keep you. Bye.” And hang up.

Dear Annie: You recently printed a letter from Dr. Henry Lynch about the importance of women knowing their risk for breast cancer. I was disappointed that he failed to mention that men, too, can be victims of breast cancer.

I went to my doctor for a minor cold and mentioned that my breast was tender and I had noticed secretions from my nipple. He immediately did a breast exam and discovered a lump. It was surgically removed, and thankfully, it wasn’t cancerous.

Annie, please inform your readers that men can also be victims of invasive breast lumps, both cancerous and non-cancerous. — A Surprised Male ReadB>

Dear Surprised: You are correct. Although not as common, men also can be diagnosed with breast cancer, most often between the ages of 60 and 70. All men should have their breasts checked regularly, and if you notice any unusual lumps or discharge, inform your doctor immediately.