Dear Annie: I am a student at a prestigious college and consider myself to be responsible, mature and self-assured. I have been dating "Ricky" for two years. He is smart, considerate and funny. I think I could spend many more years with him.

The problem is, my mother refuses to meet Ricky or talk about him. Her attitude is the result of cultural differences. Ricky's parents are immigrants. But I am tired of having to lie to my parents when I talk to Ricky on the phone or when we go out together. I have not had the courage to tell my father about Ricky and don't expect to for a while. My siblings have already met him and approve. I really think my mother would like him if she'd give him a chance. And I suspect she'll be more amenable to the relationship after I graduate next year, but I don't want to wait that long.

I feel awful about this. Should I just be patient and wait until Mom thinks I'm more of an adult? ¿ Dreading the Battle

Dear Dreading: If you consider yourself to be an adult, it's time to act like one. That means confronting difficult situations and standing up for people who are important to you. By avoiding the subject and sneaking around, you give the impression that you are not ready for a serious relationship, and your parents will treat you accordingly. You should tell your folks, with conviction, that Ricky is a big part of your life and it's time they got to know him. They may be more willing than you think. Of course, in case they are not, Ricky should be worth dealing with the fallout.

Dear Annie: Whose bright idea was it to make a car honk when you lock it with the remote?

I live in a senior mobile home park. My car used to honk, but out of respect for my neighbours, I had it fixed by the dealer so I could lock the car with the remote without making noise. My other neighbour, however, doesn't care. She uses the remote to lock her car no matter how late it is and no matter how often she wakes me up. It's also scary to be walking through a parking lot and have the car I'm passing suddenly honk loudly.

Now someone has told me some cars cannot be locked except by the remote. Is that true? Does the world really need all this unnecessary noise? ¿ B.H.

Dear B.H.: We agree that this can be annoying, especially late at night or early in the morning, in residential areas with a lot of cars. Some communities have noise restrictions, in which case, you can report someone whose horn goes off at odd hours. But most cars can have the horn feature disabled and only the lights will blink when the car is locked or unlocked. Those who cannot programme this themselves (check the manual) can have the dealer do it. You should recommend this to your neighbour, who may be quite willing to do it if someone will show her how.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Boxed Out in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania" whose husband cleaned the house by putting all her stuff in boxes while she was out of town. Several years ago, I visited my mother out of state. I came home to find my husband had "cleaned up" my home office. He dumped all my filing into one large box, moved a 350-page manuscript I was working on and rearranged all my work piles. The room looked nice, but it took me hours to find things.

I told my husband the next time he went out of town, I was going to rearrange the garage. A look of horror crossed his face. We have had no more rearranging of my "stuff." ¿ Cluttered in Western Pennsylvania

Dear Cluttered: We can't imagine the chutzpah involved in rearranging another person's private papers, but we think you hit on a good solution.