Dear Annie: A year ago, I moved with my wife and four small children to a community of some 700 residents. Recently, I learned that a local boy has a shoe fetish. He stole a girl’s shoes from her house and was caught gratifying himself over them. I feel sorry for the boy. No one chooses to be that sort of person. I also feel sorry for his parents. It must be extremely discouraging to have a son with such an affliction. But the boy is a hefty, strong 18-year-old, and my two girls are 10 and 11.

I spoke to my girls to warn them not to stay too close to that boy, especially in lonely places and after dark. It turns out the girls in the neighbourhood know all about this fellow. My daughters and their girlfriends won’t let that young man look at their shoes, and they throw stones at him if he comes too close.

What upsets me is that it’s impossible to obtain specific information on how many of these fetishists are likely to attack someone eventually. I want a better understanding of the magnitude of the problem. Can you help? — In Spite of Compassion in Canada

Dear In Spite Of: Most shoe fetishists obsess only over shoes and related items, and will not harm anyone. However, if the boy is stealing, it doesn’t sound as if his behaviour is entirely under control. Your girls are wise to avoid him, although they should not be throwing stones. More importantly, someone should talk to the boy’s parents and ask if he is getting professional help. Since you sound both sensible and compassionate, we nominate you.

Dear Annie> I am a widow in my 70s. For the past nine months, I have been seeing “Bill,” a divorced man. Bill is very intelligent, a great conversationalist and lots of fun. Our sexual contacts are more than satisfactory. We are both financially independent, so money is not an issue.

Then what is my concern? I have yet to meet Bill’s friends, and they gather on a regular basis. I have yet to meet his son. And he tells me he has a female friend, purely platonic, of course, that he escorts to church functions and senior meetings, but I don’t believe she is even aware I exist. When I address these issues, he has a variety of excuses as to why I haven’t met any of them.

Right now, I feel like a mistress, kept undercover. This arrangement is causing me a good deal of hurt and many sleepless nights. Should I just be satisfied with the happy years I had with my departed husband, or, since men my age are so scarce, should I hang in there for the companionship he offers? Please respond soon. I am developing bags under my eyes from lack of shut- eye. — Sleepless SeniB>

Dear Sleepless: We think Bill has at least one woman on the side, and we don’t mean platonic, and he may even have a wife. How desperate are you for male companionship? We don’t think Bill is worth constant heartache and sleep deprivation. Either be content as a “mistress” or set your sights elsewhere, because this relationship is going nowhere.

Dear An:<$> I read the letter from “Please Don’t Ruin My Vacation Again,” who always gets sick on airplanes. Since I started doing two things, I have avoided colds and other bugs on flights. Here are my suggestions:

1. Bring a bottle of saline solution and spray your nasal passages several times during the flight.

2. Use a battery-operated personal air purifier that hangs around your neck. I found mine through a travel catalogue, but I’ve seen them online. They are fairly expensive (over $100), but I think well worth it. Hope this helps. — Travelling Healthy

Dear Healthy: Several readers recommended surgical masks, which are much cheaper, but for those who think the air purifier is worth it, thanks for the information.