Dear Annie: <$>My husband and I have three children. In the last two years, we have tutored our 13-year-old daughter in math. However, when Daddy tries to tutor her, it becomes a confrontation instead of a learning experience. He yells and makes sarcastic comments. She, in turn, gets an attitude and resents that he ridicules her in front of her siblings. I find his methods immature and inefficient. He shouts, she cries. What is being accomplished?I tutored her for a while, but her grades didn’t improve, so my husband took over. Our daughter claims he doesn’t love her as much as her siblings because she’s not good in math. I told this to him, but nothing changed. Almost every interaction they have is negative, and there’s nothing positive to counteract it.

I no longer like the person my husband has become. He finds a reason to yell about something as soon as he gets home. He’s told the kids that he would use physical discipline if it weren’t for me, so I have turned into the family protector.

I’m ready to get a divorce because I am unhappy, the kids are unhappy, and he’s obviously unhappy, too. He refuses counselling because “they can’t help us”. Right now, I want peace at any price. — Frustrated<$>Dear Frustrated: Your husband seems stressed, angry and depressed. First, go to your daughter’s school and ask for help finding a tutor. (Parents are often inappropriate tutors for their children.) Then tell your husband that counselling is your alternative to divorce, and you want him to come with you because you both are unhappy and making the children miserable. If he still refuses, go without him.

Dear Annie: <$>My in-laws have two dachshunds. The dogs have frequent accidents in their house, requiring their carpets to be cleaned at least once a month. They also let the dogs sleep in bed with them.

I have made it clear that I have no desire to have these dogs in my house or beds, plus we have a cat. My in-laws live far away and hate to put their dogs in a kennel or have friends look after them. The problem is, they won’t take no for an answer and insist on visiting with the dogs. My husband feels as I do, but can never bring himself to say “no” to his parents, so I am always the bad guy. We have two daughters who rarely see Grandma and Grandpa because their grandparents would rather stay home than come without the dogs.

Would you please state your views on this? — California<$>Dear California: Asking some people to travel without their dogs is like asking them to come without their children. However, since these animals are so ill-trained and since you have a cat, the dogs should not be in your house. There are many pet-friendly hotels. Find out if any are near you and suggest that your in-laws stay there with the dogs. You can then visit in a neutral location.

Dear Annie: <$>My husband passed away in January. I am getting out some, mostly to church activities, but still find myself missing him a lot. Sometimes I don’t feel particularly sad, but will find myself suddenly breaking into tears. Is this normal? Am I ever going to get over this?I was wondering if there was a place where I could get some information. I am recently retired and have plenty of time, though I try to keep busy with painting, the computer and sewing. Any advice would be welcome. — Monda in MobileDear Monda: <$>Your reactions are perfectly normal. There are several places that offer support and resources for bereaved adults and their families.