Dear Annie: I am a 21-year-old college student. I focus mostly on school, which I enjoy. I have close friends I can talk to about anything. I’m also lucky to have a large, loving family. I enjoy watching sports, going to movies, shopping, going to the beach, and just about anything a girl my age enjoys.So what’s the problem? I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t see it as a problem, but others do. I wouldn’t mind meeting a nice guy, but I’m not actively searching. I feel I will find him eventually. However, I am continually pressured by family and friends of my parents to find a boyfriend. I am constantly asked if I have a boyfriend, and when I politely say no, they ask why not, like there’s something wrong with me.

Once people find out I’m unattached, they immediately try to find someone for me. They mention guys they know, guys sitting in the next booth at the restaurant, a cute guy they saw at the mall, etc. I appreciate the thought, but I don’t need the help. I know a lot of nice guys, but haven’t felt compelled to date any of them. What can I say to these well-meaning but nosy people without seeming rude? — Happy But Annoyed in FloridaDear Happy: We understand your frustration, and we don’t want to join the nagging crowd, but guys are not going to fall into your lap. If you don’t “actively search,” they are harder to find, especially if you don’t display any interest. And you will never find as many single men to choose from as when you’re in college. We don’t want you to have regrets down the road. OK, we’re done with the lecture now. If you don’t want to be fixed up or pestered about dating, simply tell people, “Thanks. I’ll let you know when I’m interested.” Beyond that, ignore them>

Dear Annie: Please help settle a minor dispute that has arisen in our family over the proper protocol for inviting relatives to informal gatherings.Whenever an occasion comes up, I call my brother to invite him and his family, and I call my father to invite him and his wife. My husband calls his brother and his aunt to invite them.

Recently, my father informed me that this is not correct. He insists the only proper way to extend an invitation is for me to call his wife directly, as well as my sister-in-law and my husband’s aunt, because the hostess is responsible for inviting the other “women of the household.”I honestly never heard of such a thing. I have never been accused of having bad manners and want to do the right thing. — Minding My Manners in Massachusetts

Dear Manner$> Your father is wrong. Invitations are often extended to female relatives because women tend to be the ones in charge of the social calendar, but there is no rule to that effect. However, it’s possible your father’s wife prefers that you contact her directly, in which case, try to accommodate her.

Dear Annie: I have a dear friend who comes across as bitter and angry. “Nola” can be judgmental and a real downer. The mutual friends who introduced us are no longer interested in spending time with her. As a result, when we all get together, she is excluded. I keep this from her so her feelings aren’t hurt.What’s the best way to discuss her obvious unhappiness and how her negativity pushes people away without her taking it as an attack? Nola reads your column, so please sign this <\m> AnonymDear Anonymous: Invite Nola over and tell her you value her friendship and you know she probably is not aware how she comes off to others. Ask her if she’s depressed, and if so, suggest she seek counselling. Otherwise, make it clear that her negative attitude is making her life more difficult than it needs to be.