Dear Readers: Happy Valentine's Day and our gratitude to those readers who have taken the time to send valentines.

Dear Annie:>My wife and I have been married for 33 wonderful years and recently moved to a very active retirement community.My wife is a trim, attractive blonde bombshell who loves to dance, and she has joined three performing groups. The problem is, she attends women's dance classes four days a week and insists on wearing provocative clothing — tight tops and extremely short skirts with a flesh-coloured leotard underneath. Wearing these outfits to class is one thing, but she is always stopping off for some errand before or after.

My wife never notices the men staring at her. We are both very religious, and I feel it is inappropriate for her to dress like this in public. There are bad people in this world, and this type of "advertisement" makes me worry for her safety.

I've tried to let it go, but can't get past it. I can't even bring up the topic without creating a big disagreement. What do you suggest? — Isadora's HusbaB>Dear HusbanIt is not unusual these days to see women running around in leotards and snug-fitting workout tops. Ask your wife to switch to black leotards and/or a longer skirt, which should help, but otherwise, leave it alone. If her religious beliefs aren't enough for additional modesty, there's not much you can do. Men may notice, but if she is in a public place, in broad daylight, with other people around, she is as safe as anywhere else, in any other clothing.

Dear Ann I have three young children. My days are spent working, commuting, doing endless chores, taking care of pets, emptying the garbage, pitching in with laundry and dirty dishes, keeping the cars running, paying bills, etc., helping the kids with homework, keeping them from maiming each other, and trying to get them to bed when my wife is working.While I am thankful no one has health troubles, I am becoming burnt out. By the end of the day, my feet hurt, I'm out of patience and dead tired. Many chores and household maintenance go undone. For years. Exercise? No time. Sit down for a break? The kids are into trouble. Hire some help? No money for that.

How do other parents recharge? — BurnutDear Burntt: It's not unusual for working parents to get burnt out. Alter your expectations — there are some chores that simply won't get done until the children are in college, and it won't kill anyone. Do your children have regular duties around the house? Is there a relative who would baby-sit for a few hours? Can you exchange baby-sitting days with a neighbour? Are there after-school programmes for your children? Readers? Your helpful suggestions are welcome.

Dear ie: I recently had major surgery. Two weeks before, I let all my friends and family know the hospital where I would be, along with the address and phone number, and the cell phone of the family member staying with me.I was in the hospital two weeks, and in all that time, my closest friends did not visit, call or send a card. I've been ill for years, and everyone knew this surgery was a big deal to me. It hurts that my friends didn't reach out. I really could have used the support. Should I ask them flat out why they didn't call? I'm not sure how to bring it up. — Don't Know What To Say in WonsinDear Winsin: Yes, you should ask, or it's going to gnaw at you and taint the friendships, which sound fairly tenuous already. The next time you see them, say, "Nancy, I'm just wondering why you never called, visited or sent a card while I was in the hospital for two weeks. I could have used your support".

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, long-time editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, PO Box 118190, Chicago, Illino60611.