Feeling 'disrespected' over provocative photos
Dear Annie: Yesterday, my husband’s nephew sent him an invitation to view the online blog that he and his wife write. On the site, the wife had posted a photo of herself wearing scanty clothing. I am furious, but I don’t think it’s jealousy I’m experiencing — I think I feel disrespected.This same woman likes to wear revealing outfits around the family. I wouldn’t think of posting this type of photo of myself on the Internet, and I certainly wouldn’t invite male members of the family to view it.
I think she is clearly an exhibitionist, and I have a bad feeling that the pair of them are getting some sort of sick pleasure from the wife exposing herself to the men of the family. Please tell me how to handle this. — Breast or Thigh>Dear Thigh$>People who post provocative photos of themselves on the Internet are indeed exhibitionists, and you are probably right that this couple enjoys the attention. They want you to be titillated or outraged. You handle this by asking your husband to ignore future requests to view this couple’s online postings. If they ask what you thought of this one, say neutrally, “It was OK”, or “We don’t really have time to look at blogs”. When you don’t react, it removes all the excitement for them. We hope they will grow up soon.
Dear Anni<$>Is it possible that alcohol affects some people in such a way that they remember almost nothing about how they behave? My wife denies having any type of drinking problem, yet right now there is a near-empty box of beer in one closet, empty beer cans in the cupboards and two large empty wine bottles that weren’t around a week ago. Frequently there is some type of mess (broken glasses, for example) to clean up. She has no regrets or apologies for her behaviour. She becomes extremely defensive when I try to have even the smallest discussion on the subject. She has been seeing a therapist for eight years and recently started taking Prozac. She doesn’t see anything wrong with adding extra pills to her daily prescribed intake and drinking to whatever extent she wants at the end of the day.She very rarely shows anything but a smile and nice disposition. The kids laugh at her when she gets drunk because she behaves like a bobble-head doll. I feel sorry for her, but I’m reluctant to help because everything I’ve said so far has been firmly rejected. Any suggestions? — Married to the Bottle d<$>Dear Marr: <$>It’s quite possible your wife has no recollection of what she does when drunk. And combining booze with pills is truly dangerous. Her therapist should be informed immediately. Stop being “reluctant” to get involved. This is a serious addiction.
Dear Ae: <$>We recently got a new supervisor, and I’m not sure if some of his behaviour is appropriate. For instance, when we were dealing with a recent problem, he sent a memo saying, “If we don’t fix this, someone is going to be fired.” On another occasion, concerns were raised regarding one of his proposals, and he replied, “If people don’t like it, I’d be happy to write them a letter of recommendation.”We have a very professional and experienced staff, and these comments have people on edge. Should I just brush it off? Complain to our HR department? Start looking for other employment? ̵John<$>Dear John: *p(0,0,0,10.2,0,0,g)>Register a complaint with the HR department, and if your supervisor has a boss, speak to that person as well. An effective manager does not intimidate or threaten subordinates.