As Valentine's Day approaches and many women wonder whether Cupid's arrow will be flying their way, the local arm of Imagine a Woman is offering an opportunity for women to rediscover the love of self and faithfulness to oneself.

The one day seminar "Love Of Self/Love Of Other: The Essential Connection A Valentine Retreat Just for You!" takes place at the Botanical Gardens Visitor Centre from 9.30 a.m. to 4.30 p.m. on February 9.

Imagine a Woman event organiser and licensed facilitator Rochelle Simons and author and Imagine a Woman founder Patricia Lynn Reilly spoke to The Royal Gazette about the upcoming seminar and the previous event, which took place in early December.

"We're really committed to a vow of faithfulness to oneself, which is a reversal of the traditional Valentine's," said Ms Reilly. "It is about the love of the essential connection and it is also to show them that the love of self and the love of others is inextricably bound.

"The deep truth is to love others as you love yourself, so the psychological truth is that if we can't love ourselves, then we can't love other people.

"That is why it is the weekend before Valentine's ¿ it's about creating a Valentine's for themselves."

In a circle of women only, in the beautiful garden setting, women will be reminded that their capacity to love deepens, as they love themselves, explained Mrs. Simons.

"Give yourself the gift of turning inward to grow in knowledge and the love of yourself," she said.

"To vow faithfulness to your own life and capacities through the following sessions: Gaze with loving kindness; Descend with mercy; Acknowledge with respect; Participate with strength; and to vow faithfulness.

"There is an essential connection between love of self and love of others.

"We at Sound View are offering a pre-Valentine's Retreat just for women during which women will be encouraged to deepen that love of self before they focus on love of others."

Mrs. Simons, who is the founder of Sound View Ltd., and is a licensed "Imagine a Woman" facilitator, will lead the retreat.

Of the last event, which coincided with the Women in Leadership Conference, both women explained that it was an incredible sight to see some 350-business women from around the Island in attendance.

Ms Reilly, the author of "A God Who Looks Like Me", "Be Full of Yourself!" "Imagine a Woman", "I Promise Myself" and "Words Made Flesh", said that she got into women's empowerment through a search within herself.

"If you go underneath an author's words, you touch their personal story," she said. "I share my story because my mother was a battered woman and it was dangerous for us as well."

She explained that after her mother attended a Physical Assault Centre she learned to drive.

"She drove us from the West Coast to the East Coast and then hooked up with another violent man," explained Ms Reilly. "So I saw within my mother's own life that even a geographic difference doesn't touch that internal infrastructure.

"A certain paradigm conditioned the way she responded to men, and she was in and out of trouble with men and we were eventually taken from her.

"So my mother's life holds this amazing story and my books both inspired by and dedicated to my mother and grandmother."

Her journey of self-discovery has since led to a life coaching career: "For me it was about descending and discovering an essential place inside of me that was untouched even by the sexual and violent assault of my own childhood and the alienation from my parents," she said. "Out of all of that, there was a place in me that I could reach which was untouched by all of that, so my work reflects my own journey of descending into that amazing place that we spoke about this morning at the Physical Abuse Centre.

"If you don't believe that we can heal, then we are damaged forever, but if you believe that there is an essential place beyond it all ¿ we are able to return to that place where we are whole perfect and complete."

She explained that girls exhibit fullness in themselves, but that this is sometimes lost by the loss of innocence.

"The girl child is so full of herself and life and some for longer than others depending on what happens, whether it is seemingly benign like a critical parent or malignant like incest or rape," she said. "We become alienated from that amazing fullness of being 'full of yourself'.

"This is your journey from self-criticism to self-celebration and returning to that place where we are whole perfect and complete."

She said that each of her books represent a piece of the work that she had done personally and has offered in circles of women. This has led many women to make a commitment to themselves and to their dreams.

Many women find that the programme offers them a reversal of socialisation.

"We look at our socialisation and it includes a self-critical self, that there is something wrong with us, it includes servicing others with our attention and lives," Ms Reilly said.

"For the fundamental process, which I think is the centrepiece of the work, the wedding vows and the wedding ceremony, a transformation for women, so we invite women to grow in knowledge and love of themselves. It is just amazing and it is right and good that we are women."

During the last retreat, they saw the whole gamut of women.

"We had a whole range of folks from recovering addicts, retired grandmas, young teachers, it was just an amazing array, because their journey was so similar and it was about returning home to the amazing resources that life has given us," Ms Reilly added.

Mrs. Simons added that during the session they focused on the three areas of life and did a short meditation.

"We talked about the three natural resources, the breath and how essential that is, the body and it is a natural resource ¿ it is given to us in the space that we are in ¿ it doesn't matter what size, colour, age and then our inner life. In each of those sections we invited a period of silence for women to reconnect to those three areas in their lives."

Within that time they found that women had discoveries ranging from where to hang a painting to an African woman deciding to take the Imagine a Woman programme to Sierra Leone.

"It is important to take that time and to make those connections and honouring themselves in their lives," Mrs. Simons added.

Women say that they never knew that such a woman existed, added Ms Reilly.

"So it becomes their creative visualisation of a woman who authors her own life and refuses to carry the sins of others, who values the women in her life.

"All of a sudden, she has a new template of what it means to be woman."

For Mrs. Simons, who comes from a corporate background, she found that the Imagine a Woman book helped women in the business sector.

"So as I journey through the book, I felt all the (20) stanzas speak to women, but in the business arena speaking to how we use our resources and how we associate with women," she said. "Again making the connections with women is much more valuable than finding ways that we are different. What worked for me was how we can support ourselves, and each other to create positive change on the Island."

Regarding mentors, Mrs. Simons said that over her quarter of a century in business, she has a few good mentors.

"I was fortunate to have a few mentors along the way, it saved me from making some really bad mistakes in the early days," she said. "And there were people who helped me, and said, 'maybe you want to consider this when you go into this meeting'.

"I think that we are in a time now in Bermuda where people are so individually focused and they are afraid to ask for help because it is very competitive and cutthroat. But most successful people have had support along the way with key mentors and people who are interested in their lives. So it is important to find those people or systems to encourage you and to hold what is possible for you."

However whether you are in business or not, Ms Reilly said: "The planet is in desperate need of women who love themselves and who are using their amazing lives to create families of inclusion, transformation and businesses that are just.

"It starts with ourselves growing in knowledge and love of ourselves. That inner infrastructure is what enables us to vow faithfulness to ourselves for the benefit of our children and our children's children."

Tickets must be purchased in advance, are $85 and include lunch. To register, call 336-2447, email: soundview@logic.bm or visit www.soundviewltd.com