Dear Annie: I am a 26-year-old man, and my life is a mess. Two years ago, I had a great job and a beautiful fiancee. I was completely crazy about "Cassie'', who was then a junior in college. When she told me she wanted to live on campus because it was closer and would give her a real college experience, I agreed it would make her life easier. To make a long story short, her communication became infrequent, and then she broke off our engagement, the only explanation being that "she didn't love me anymore''. She refused to take my calls or respond to e-mails. I was devastated.

Two months later, I lost my job when the company went bankrupt. I worked at several lower-paying jobs and finally found one I liked, but was canned after several months. They said it was downsizing, but I later discovered the boss didn't like me. I have no idea why.

That was three months ago, and I have been unable to find work. I had to move in with my father and his wife, and Dad has made it his daily ritual to belittle my education (I have a bachelor's degree in history) and berate me for not having studied "something useful''.

My life has completely fallen apart, and it started the day Cassie left. I still think about her every day and mourn my old life. I'm sure none of this would have happened if I had found a way to keep Cassie from moving. I'm sick of crying myself to sleep over things I can't change. Please help. ¿ Lost in New England

Dear New England: Cassie moved because she was already planning to leave you and was looking for a way out. Trust us, better it happened before you married and not after. Your depression is not a permanent condition. This is a transitional period between your old life and a new, more solid one. Take a temp job that will pay enough to move out of Dad's house. Get some exercise. Talk to your clergyperson or get some free or low-cost short-term counselling through your local hospital or the nearest university psychology department. We'll be rooting for you.

Dear Annie: I am a 40ish single woman with a busy job. I don't have a lot of free time, but I enjoy an evening out occasionally. What I am struggling with is that all my friends are either married or have steady boyfriends and now exclude me from their activities. I've had many relationships since my divorce and never ignored my friends. In fact, I fixed up three of these women with the guys they are currently seeing. While these same women called constantly when they were single, they haven't thought once to invite me out in the last five years.

I am not a needy person, but I am amazed these women don't seem to remember what it was like to be alone. Please remind people that true friends are hard to find and friendships need nurturing. ¿ Anywhere, Any Town

Dear Anywhere: A lot of attached women find their single women friends to be a threat or loose end that doesn't fit in the "couples" category.

You will have to make the effort to maintain these friendships, but meanwhile, branch out and cultivate some new friends. And if you are one of those people who has been neglecting a single friend, please pick up the phone today.