In preparation for the arrival of another baby in April, we have moved our two-year-old out of the en-suite closet she has been sleeping in for the last 18 months (it does have a window!) and into the bedroom with her brother and sister.

It is strange not having her close and it has made me think a lot about how transient the many stages of childhood really are. That little room has seen her blossom from a crawling, dark haired, podgy baby to a walking, talking, blonde-haired toddler who enchants us all with her giggles and energetic enjoyment of life.

Within that transition there have been good days and bad, easy days and hard but one thing I have learned in my 14 years of parenthood is nothing last forever.

As new parents it is easy to feel overwhelmed, frustrated and hopeless as you try to get to grips with a new and demanding, little person in your life.

The first few days and weeks can be a series of emotional highs and lows as each day presents a new joy (the first breastfeed with no pain, the first smile) and a new disappointment or struggle (three hours sleep in total last night, what are these new spots? do I need to worry about them?).

Some of the ‘stages’ of childhood are obvious and expected. The first smile, rolling over, sitting up, crawling, walking, first words, moving onto solid food, using a spoon, starting nursery and so on. But some are more subtle and it is often these that catch you unawares and necessarily ‘off-guard’ and not quite sure what to do. They are often the ‘events’ that can tip the balance of making life with children easy/bearable/downright difficult and take the joy out of parenting. I find that it is at these times that it is so easy to lose perspective. Here are some examples that you may find familiar as I try and explain what I mean:

[bul] A baby who has previously slept well at night suddenly starts waking twice a night for no apparent reason (leaving you feeling exhausted and unable to think straight let alone hold down a job and keep on top of the demands of the house).

[bul] A period where all your children are sick (and therefore whiney and hard to entertain meaning that you can do nothing else).

[bul] A toddler who has always liked tomato-based sauces and pasta (or whatever) suddenly decides that it is disgusting and refuses to eat it (and you have based the whole family’s diet on it for the next week).

[bul] A baby who previously would happily be strapped into a car seat/stroller suddenly strongly objects, struggles and screams each time you try to buckle up (particularly difficult if this exercise is enjoyed at least three times a day).

[bul] A toddler who previously settled easily for daytime naps suddenly decides that she doesn’t want them anymore and screams as you leave sobbing ‘mummy, don’t leave’ (when you have been joyfully anticipating some child-free time since breakfast).

[bul] A child who suddenly starts complaining of ‘wrinkles’ in his socks (where are they exactly?) and refuses to put on any footwear as they are uncomfortable.

Sometimes there are, of course, discernible reasons why these changes happen — illness, fears, a new sibling et cetera, and the way you deal with those situations will reflect your knowledge about the cause but other times they seem to come out of nowhere and take you by surprise (leading to frustration).

Well, I’m here to tell you that these challenges often go as quickly as they arrive and so it may not be worth wasting time trying to sort them out or as some of us do, spend sleepless nights trying to work out ‘what is going on?’ Many of us will find ourselves running to various parenting books to see if they can offer any wisdom to ‘solve’ the present problem but often we find conflicting and certainly confusing answers to the new dilemma.

Few of us, have the confidence to go with our parenting instincts (I feel another column topic coming upon me) but I would suggest that so long as the new challenge is not actually causing harm to anyone that you try to relax, don’t over analyse it and see how it unfolds.

Whatever happens the answer is to be consistent in your response, to be non-punitive but firm and to not show your irritation but be calm and patient (sometimes very hard particularly when there are non-existent wrinkles when you are trying to get everyone out the door for school in the morning) and of course, keep chanting the parenting mantra — nothing lasts forever!