Bermudian Elisha Miller is about to hang up her shingle as one of the first human sexuality consultants on the Island.

Ms Miller recently graduated from the University of Guelph, in Ontario, Canada and is now in the process of setting up a business in Bermuda.

“It is in the planning stages right now,” said Ms Miller. “It is definitely a goal of mine. I am looking at getting something started in the next month or so. I have found some space. I have to play around a little bit with scheduling and see what works with the other person I am sharing my office with.”

It was back when Ms Miller was getting her Bachelor’s degree that she first became interested in human sexuality as a career path.

“I was able to take a few human sexuality courses, and I really liked it,” she said. “I thought it was something very needed on the Island. I decided that this was what I was going to pursue. I was working with Ed Herold, a professor who was very well known in Canada.”

Mr. Herold is the author of several books about human sexuality including “Sexual Behaviour of Canadian Young People”, and “Human Sexuality In A World of Diversity”, among other papers and books.

Ms Miller went on to do a Masters degree focusing on human sexuality. Her thesis was on ageing and sexuality. Specifically, it looked at how older individuals define and experience sexuality.

“It was a really interesting experience,” Ms Miller said. “I sat down with people who were over 60 and talked about their sexuality from the time they were young up to now. We talked about what that experience looked like and how it changed shape over the years.”

Ms Miller found that sexuality and intimacy was still a huge part of life, even for older people in their 80s.

“The kind of common myth that sexuality dies when you get to a certain age is absolutely not true,” she said. “Older people are still wanting to have these intimate relationships with other people.”

Ms Miller managed to get people to open up about their private lives, even though sex was still a taboo subject for many older people.

“They found that as they got older they were a little bit more adventuresome,” she said. “They started off with this partner that they had a great sexual relationship with. Then they had children and work. There was less emphasis on that relationship. After the kids moved out, they were able to rediscover this new relationship.

“A lot of the older people I talked to, who were in sexual relationships, were still married. There were ones that were widowed, and were kind of longing for that — not just the sexual relationship, but the intimacy that they could share with another partner.”

She said she wasn’t really surprised by her thesis findings, because she had done a lot of preliminary research before starting the project. “What was surprising, was that they were really positive about sexuality and the need to keep the relationship going,” she said.

When Ms Miller opens for business she hopes to help men and women of all ages, but she is particularly interested in working on sexual education awareness for teenagers. She is also interested in doing a little bit of counselling.

“I know that the nurses at the health clinic talk to students about sexually transmitted infections (STI) and pregnancy awareness,” she said. “They go into the schools and give a talk.

“But sexuality is a lot more than pregnancy and STIs. I think it is really important to get the message across that sex is an experience that means a lot more when you are in a relationship that is loving. You have to teach people how to communicate about sexuality. “Girls have to have enough self-esteem to say, ‘I am worth more than that. If you are not going to put a condom on, then I am not going to have sex with you’. It is a very broad thing that needs to be addressed.”

Ms Miller also wants to work with women in a group setting to help them learn about their sexuality.

“I imagine I will be dealing with a whole variety of issues,” she said. “I will probably be talking to people who are having problems in a sexual relationship. I want to do groups for women. Sexuality is something that there tends to be a general human interest in, but we are not given an avenue to explore it because it is quite hush-hush. It is important to give people a safe environment where they can learn about their sexuality. That is why I would be interested in groups and things like that.”

While in university she ran a support group for women living with the AIDS virus.

“I did a placement at the AIDS committee of Guelph and Wellington County,” she said. “It was a really interesting experience. I got to do a little bit of counselling for people who don’t feel like there is anyone out there to listen and discuss their issues. You hear about it but when you see people who are living with HIV it really opens your eyes to the day-to- day struggles that they have. There are people who feel very isolated. It is not just the HIV that they are living with, but all the issues that surround that as well. So it was a very, very good experience. I learned a lot. It was one of those experiences you will look back on and reflect on for life.”

Ms Miller was born and raised in Bermuda, and decided to return to the Island after university, because her life was here. “It was time for me to come home and try to get something started on the Island,” she said. “My family has been very supportive. They knew that this was where my heart was. My parents have always been the type of parents who have been very encouraging and supportive of what I have done.”

She said it always gets a good reaction out of people, when she tells them she is going into human sexuality.

“They say, ‘oh, okay’,” she said. “It definitely piques people’s interest. There is a general interest in it. I think by putting this type of service out there, people are going to respond. I hope they will, anyway.”To contact Ms Miller about setting up an appointment, telephone 504-3148 or e-mail Bermudasexuality[AT]gmail.com