Canadian Crown Counsel Mr. Peter DeJulio had a rough time in the recent "burning bed'' attempted murder trial in Supreme Court.

He not only lost the case when Veronica Dill was acquitted on all three counts, but he took plenty of bollocking along the way from Chief Justice the Hon. Mr. Justice Ward.

The Chief Justice lost his patience when the jury arrived to deliver a verdict in the case and Mr. DeJulio was nowhere to be found.

"I don't know what they paid you to do in Canada,'' said Mr. Justice Ward, "but here, we pay you to come to court, not sit in your office.'' As Mr. DeJulio stood bravely and took the criticism, Mr. Justice Ward also expressed concern that he was setting a poor example for his younger assistant, Ms Charlene Scott.

During the weeklong trial, Mr. DeJulio was a frequent target of the Chief Justice's wit. At one point, Mr. DeJulio was making an analogy, explaining what would happen if his wife told him he was stupid.

"Yes, but in this case she would be right,'' the Chief Justice said.

*** It seemed a normal safety speech on board TNT Halley's flight out of Bermuda bound for Connecticut.

There the air hostess, whose name was Amy, stood complete with her bag of tricks -- a seat belt, an oxygen mask and a life vest.

And then she launched into her demonstration.

All mundane and terribly routine. In fact some passengers including Tourism Director Mr. Gary Phillips, chose to occupy themselves with other, more important matters. That was until the hostess put on her life vest.

Then all eyes faced front transfixed.

The reason? Amy had put a bright yellow life vest over her head. It wasn't that she had done anything particularly unusual that provoked the sudden interest.

Instead it was the bold black letters of the Pan Am logo that aroused a smirk from her captive audience.

"The vest says Pan Am,'' an astute and ever vigilant Mr. Phillips was heard to exclaim.

His outburst had one effect. Royal Gazette photographer David Skinner captured the moment for all and sundry to see.

Whoever said money spent on advertising was wasted was surely wrong. Although it is doubtful that this spot of publicity would have helped Pan Am. The airline has gone out of business! *** 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello ... what have we 'ere then? A name for the new Police newspaper? Well, that's just what we have. And P.c Gary Venning, for one, has no difficulty owning up.

Hardly surprising, some might argue, since the Community and Media Relations officer has just won an internal Police competition to find a suitable name for the paper.

His entry? "Up Beat''.

Police Commissioner Mr. Colin Coxall selected it from a shortlist of 12 which had been whittled down from 74 entries by his officers.

No doubt, P.c. Venning had been strongly influenced by Mr. Coxall's call for the paper to be "upbeat and definitely not turgid''.

Notebook understands other hot competitors for the winning entry included ... Prospectus (a play on Police headquarters Prospect), P.c. Onion, On The Beat, The Senior Service, and Inter Views.

As well as the kudos from winning the competition, P.c. Venning carried off a small "monetary prize'', we are told.

Asked how much, and Police spokesman Insp. Coghlin Gibbons remained steadfastly mum. "I am not going to tell you,'' he said.

Mr. Coxall's selection, however, got nods of approval yesterday from Notebook scribes.

It was certainly rated the most arresting of the entries ...

*** It was the photo which would have had lensmen the world over seeing dollar signs. And lots of them.

There she was sunning herself on Australian entertainment mogul Robert Stigwood's private beach ... the bikini-clad Duchess of York, with her two little Princesses, Beatrice and Eugenie, at her side.

And there was fashion photographer Marshall DeCouto in prime position, on a boat sailing by the Wreck Hill estate.

The lucky Mr. DeCouto had come across the royal scene while on a swimsuit assignment in the west end for RG magazine.

An hour or so later, and the tale of how Mr. DeCouto came to have a small fortune literally at his fingertips was retold to RG editor Mr. Chris Gibbons.

"And, of course, you've come back with some good shots, I suppose?'' Mr.

Gibbons eagerly asked a female employee on assignment with Mr. DeCouto.

A deathly hush ...

"But, but, but, we weren't there to take pictures of Fergie, were we?'' the response came back. Or a look to that effect.

The expression on Mr. Gibbons' face was worth a million dollars, so to speak ... but, hey, don't tell those British tabloids!