Snap, crackle, pop! That's a familiar sound to the Bermuda Regiment's newest recruits -- but not just down on the range. Up in the soldiers' mess, the noisy, dry breakfast cereal is just one of many choices on offer at the s Indeed, choice is the operative word at Warwick Camp. No, the rookies can't choose whether or not to attend drills, spend a night in the field, or sleep in, but when it comes to mealtimes, it's not a case of "take it or leave it'' any more.

"People's tastes change over the years so the army has to keep changing with them,'' quartermaster Major Glenn Brangman said of his menus.

Though old warriors might accuse the army of "going soft'' on its men, it is a fact that modern military thinking is more enlightened. The brass now realise they're dealing with human beings, not robots or animals -- at least in the mess halls -- so greater thought is being given to how the army marches on its stomach.

In any case, it makes little economic sense to waste time, money and manpower producing meals that no-one eats -- a philosophy to which Major Brangman fully subscribes.

So much so, in fact, that he not only conducts a careful analysis of menus, likes and dislikes at the end of each annual camp, but is also on hand at every single mealtime.

He inspects all prepared food before it is served, and novice cooks soon learn that they can't put one over on the quartermaster. If something isn't up to standard, into the garbage it goes, and they have to scramble to prepare something else in the time available.

In the mess hall Major Brangman circulates to get the men's comments and make sure they have eaten properly. He is strict about ensuring that they don't go away hungry. If he notices someone hasn't eaten too much of one item, he will suggest that they eat more of the others.

As a matter of course, the cooks prepare starches, such as pasta and mashed potatoes, "in abundance'' because they are not only inexpensive but filling.

Second helpings are always encouraged when supplies permit.

Receptive as Major Brangman is to comments, he is also a realist and can spot genuine complaints from trivial gripes at 50 paces.

"Whatever you do, there will always be people who will say they don't like this or that,'' the veteran of 15 camps said. "When they tell me it's not like their mamma's cooking, I tell them, `Your mamma's not in the army and she won't come and cook for us either!'' As with any group of rookies, there are always a few who think they've checked into a hotel and begin making ridiculous demands. Again, Major Brangman listens politely, but then moves on.

"Some think because Government's paying they should have this, that and the other, but we soon take care of that!'' he smiled. "You also have people who are spoilt and expect everything -- waiters in white jackets and linen table cloths. You'd be wasting your time if you listened to everything.'' Nonetheless, when it comes to the annual menus, the major likes to "get it right.'' Basically, this means a fine-tuning process. For example, one year's recruits might be big on hamburgers, while the next year's prefer spaghetti. So, based on popular preference, adjustments are made.

With the army budget strictly in mind, Major Brangman has had to make one or two cutbacks on this year's menus -- though not to the detriment of the soldier's palate. Steak, for example, will still be served, but less often than last year, with a more economical dish taking up the slack.

Supply headaches are relatively minor, but still get Major Brangman's careful attention. On the day of Taste's visit, he was wrestling with a shortage of sweet biscuit packs favoured by the soldiers, and trying to solve the dry cereal dilemma.

Whereas the typical soldier's taste is towards the sweet and sugary sort, manufacturers put more of the boringly healthy ones into their variety packs.

"This means that only the men at the front of the line get what they want, while those at the back lose out,'' Major Brangman explained. "It's something we have no control over.'' The army is big on condiments: each table sports ketchup, steak sauce, salt, pepper, squeeze margarine, peanut butter, jam, pancake syrup and sugar as a matter of course. Hot pepper sauce is available on request -- and thanks to a hint from Taste, cranberry sauce will soon accompany the roast turkey! "That'll make their day,'' the major chuckled as he wrote out the order. In fact, `making their day' is something he really enjoys doing -- especially if it's to call a soldier's bluff.

"You'll get some wiseguy who'll ask me for something he thinks I don't have -- like shrimps. If I happen to have some on hand I'll prepare and give them to him just to see his reaction!'' Acknowledging that institutional cooking can never compare to mother's best, Major Brangman explained this is because of the volume of food involved, the mixture of experienced and novice cooks, and a broad range of tastes.

"You have got to keep to the middle of the road and cook for the majority,'' he said. "But I am insistent that we provide food which is as close to home catering as we can get it. I think it's important that you serve things people are used to and enjoy. It's very much like running a restaurant. The soldiers are my customers and as far as it's economically possible I try to please them.'' Sometimes the men even get more than they're used to at home. Take breakfast, for instance. The army's daily menu includes: hot or cold cereal, eggs (scrambled or fried), bacon or sausages, Danish pastries, fruit cocktail, bread, peanut butter and jam, milk, hot chocolate, tea, coffee (regular or decaffeinated) with fresh or evaporated milk.

"A lot of them don't even eat breakfast at home,'' Major Brangman noted.

Lunch menus include vegetables, pasta, roasts, hamburgers and corn beef hash, along with tasty desserts, while dinner menus include steak, fish, chicken, vegetables, desserts and salads.

Extra bread is on the table at every meal, along with huge pitchers of fruit punch or lemonade.

Vegetarians are catered to with such dishes as tuna salads, meatless spaghetti sauce, fish and salads.

Red tablecloths and blue chairs reflect the Regiment colours, while trendy piped music soothes the troubled breast.

At Major Brangman's insistence, mealtime must not be rushed -- unlike the rest of the day.

Savvy soldiers soon learn a few illicit tricks -- like smuggling extra packets of sweet biscuits into their uniforms before night exercises.

"Oh, we know all about that. Sometimes they take the peanut butter too!'' the genial quartermaster laughed.

While C-rations are used for some field exercises, at the time of Taste's visit the recruits on overnight exercises at Ferry Reach were tucking into hot meals prepared at Warwick Camp and delivered and served by the cooks.

A modern army indeed! And just how do the new recruits view their first experience of army catering? "It's a lot better than I thought it would be.'' "It has its ups and downs.

Last week's was better than this week's, it's slackening off, but it's edible.

'' "Breakfast is the best.'' "The fish was foreign, tacky and brittle.'' "I still miss my mamma's cooking'' were some of the comments we heard.

Pvt. Stephen Caton wasn't impressed with the codfish included in the traditional Sunday morning breakfast.

"It tasted like licking the foot of a tourist on Horseshoe Bay,'' the fresh-faced soldier declared.

Like many others, he also found the food "bland''.

"And they're putting something in it too, let me tell you,'' he winked conspiratorially.

Pvt. Orlando Crane was philosophical.

"After a hard day you don't care what you eat. Sometimes it tastes right and sometimes it doesn't, but food is food when you're hungry.'' And then there was the soldier to warm any officer's heart -- Pvt. Delano Williams.

"I love the army, I like all the training, and some day I'm going to become a sergeant-major. After a good, hard day's training this is the best food you can eat. It's excellent and I like it all. I always have seconds and I leave here full.'' There was, however, one thing he and many other recruits disliked intensely: eating out of mess tins in the food hall -- a new innovation this year.

"It makes us feel like dogs,'' they said.

But there are apparently ways around that too.

"I told them I lost my mess tin,'' the anonymous soldier boasted. "What are they going to do -- shoot me? So they give me disposable plates. Much better! In the army you've got to use your head, man!'' CHOW DOWN! -- The Bermuda Regiment's newest recruits line up for a midday meal of roast turkey, green beans and mashed potatoes. While reaction to army food was mixed, the rookie soldiers seemed united in their dislike of eating out of mess tins when not in the field.