In fact, statistically speaking, one in 50 Bermudian youngsters could slam dunk just as well as Mikey, with a little bit of effort.

Some curious folk -- not to mention Mister Jordan himself -- may wonder where this pearl of sporting wisdom comes from.

Well, the answer is the distinctly unathletic looking Government Senator Larry Scott -- a man whose Parliamentary performances have made him an occasional candidate for our Notebook column.

His enlightening observation came during Wednesday's Senate debate on the drug difficulties facing soccer.

And it seemed to fit quite neatly with the general thrust of his speech: That today's Bermudian youngsters should look to Senators for role models, rather than so-called superstars like Jordan.

"Sport is just a secondary outlet,'' Sen. Scott sniffed.

Basketball fans may find such comments a trifle unsporting.

Or was Sen. Scott just taking the `Michael'? *** The "nos'' have it in the August 15 Independence referendum -- at least when it comes to buttons.

Lapel buttons calling on Bermudians to vote "no'' to Independence are being distributed on the Island, reportedly through the offices of lawyers and Government backbenchers Mr. Trevor Moniz and the Hon. Ann Cartwright DeCouto.

But where can one look for a "yes'' button? Not to the United Bermuda Party. While the Premier and several Cabinet Ministers are pro-Independence, the governing party has no position one way or the other.

The pro-Independence Progressive Labour Party would have no such buttons, but might be able to offer one that says, "Abstain''.

Stranger still, even the Committee for the Independence of Bermuda is not distributing "yes'' buttons.

The committee is re-assessing its position and plans to make an announcement prior to August 15.

Only in Bermuda? *** Ooops! Those tidy-minded KBB souls certainly have a talent for getting themselves in a mess.

Take a recent fund-raising bash.

Not only did the group serve up drinks in plastic cups ... a case of putting their environmentally sensitive feet in it, you could say ... they also failed to provide a blue bin liner for recyclables, such as bottles as cans.

As a social gaffe, it took some beating.

Keep Bermuda Beautiful? More like King-sized Bloopers and Blunders.

*** A recent forum endorsing a woman's view of Independence promised a new and intriguing angle on the whole debate.

It was therefore with interest that this reporter attended a forum to examine Government's position papers from a woman's perspective. To whet the appetite, a flyer touting a trio of two women UBP and PLP Government ministers and a business woman promised to make a good debate.

It was however with surprise that the reporter stepped into the room to encounter instead former Paget East PLP candidate Mr. Rolfe Commissiong ensconced between the other two women panelists.

It emerged that Mr. Commissiong had been appointed to stand in for PLP MP Mrs.

Lois Browne Evans who was not able to attend.

Not put out, the reporter settled down with interest to learn what Mr.

Commissiong had to say on behalf of his party's female members.

However, barring his opening remarks, "Ladies and, ahem, gentlemen if there are any present,'' (there were two -- one from the Press) his speech contained not a single reference to the female gender. The female viewpoint, it appeared, had been largely overwhelmed by Mr. Commissiong's own.

MICHAEL JORDAN -- One in 50 Bermudian youngsters could slam dunk just as well as him -- at least according to Sen. Larry Scott!