put the two together and what do you get? "A rip-off'' one reader maintains.

On the advice of a fellow bargain-hunter, the man purchased some brass-finished "pharmacy'' standing lamps from the Bermudiana Hotel sale in January for $10 each, including bulbs. He sanded the rust off and resprayed them to look like new.

The reader believes he wasn't the only one to follow this route. Browsing in a trendy store this week, he was astonished to see what he claims are more of the same lamps, resprayed in a variety of high-gloss colours, retailing for $105 -- minus bulbs! How does he know they are the same lamps? "I'd recognise those lamps anywhere, and besides I inspected them,'' he said.

*** The wheels of justice turn slowly, especially when Senior Magistrate the Wor.

Will Francis presides over plea court.

Reporters -- who must stay until the end if they wish to check facts with Police prosecutors -- squirm anxiously as Mr. Francis decides how to handle a difficult remand or a request from an offender for more time to pay a fine.

Even Prison Officers can find plea court a confining place as the clock approaches noon.

This week, a clerk gently nudged awake a Prison Officer caught napping in the courtroom.

*** Relativity is, uh, relative.

And so it was with the Police on Hallowe'en night.

Thinking Monday night's witching hour held more than a passing chance of street violence, The Royal Gazette withheld production of Tuesday's newspaper until 12.30 a.m. so a reporter could check with Police.

Just before midnight, a call was made to Police headquarters to learn what had happened.

"It's been relatively quiet,'' a Police spokesman said. "We've had a lot of calls but most of them were of minor nature.'' So the newspaper went to press with the headline: Police report `quiet' Hallowe'en.

Next morning, the Police blotter of the night's activities was issued. It reported 40 acts of vandalism with most consisting of wilful damage to property, objects being thrown at traffic and homes and minor fires.

Five men were arrested. Three were charged with possession of offensive weapons, one with theft and one with using threatening behaviour towards Police officers.

Quiet? Only if compared with the horrible events at the Spinning Wheel two nights before.

*** We recently did a story on the Forbes Magazine's list of the Richest 400 people, reporting only those who were listed Bermuda as their home.

They included Mrs. Marion MacMillan Pictet, ranked 62 on the list with $570 million, at Perot's Island, and Mr. Ernest E. Stempel of American International Group, ranked 78 at $515 million, in Fairylands.

But the list also includes at least five others who have a connection with the Island. They are: Mr. John Kluge of Orion Films fame, who is ranked number 3 with $5.9 billion.

His yacht Virginian is registered at the Royal Bermuda Yacht Club where Mr.

Kluge enjoys a membership.

The inimitable Mr. H. Ross Perot, who has two homes in Tucker's Town. He was ranked number 27 with $2.5 billion.

CNN's Mr. Ted Turner, who has sailed many times in the Newport-Bermuda Race.

He was ranked 44 with $1.6 billion.

Mr. Robert Tisch of New York, who owned the Loew's Bermuda Beach before selling out to Club Med. He was ranked 66 with $1.135 billion.

Mrs. Barbara Johnson of Princeton whose first husband was married to a Dill.

She was ranked 89 with $900 million.