Guess who's coming to dinner? In Mrs. Joan Williams' case, the answer could have been: HRH Princess Margaret; Dr. Joao Amaral, President of the Azores; General Colin Powell; HRH Princess Alexandra; the Rt. Hon Tom Adams, Prime Minister of Barbados; or Sir Eric Sharp, chairman of Cable & Wireless.

As Government's Protocol Officer for the past 14 years, Mrs. Williams has organised everything from cocktail parties to luncheons, afternoon teas and glittering official dinners for Premier the Hon. Sir John Swan and Lady Swan at their official residence, Camden, in Paget.

She has played a major role in all the behind-the-scenes details of Royal and head-of-state visits -- everything from sending invitations to organising catering and refurbishing.

A walking Miss Manners, Mrs. Williams has also spent more hours than she cares to remember advising people from all walks of life on the social graces and niceties of protocol.

She has taught women to curtsey, men to bow, dispensed advice on hats and gloves, and even how to converse with Royals.

She has liaised with caterers, flower arrangers, wine merchants and printers, and built up the necessary rapport with artisans to have them respond instantly to an urgent summons for help.

Her eagle eye can spot a flaw in any setting in an instant, and just as quickly she can put it right herself or have someone do it for her.

She is, in essence, the perfect unofficial hostess who makes sure that everything runs like clockwork on the day or evening.

So good at it is Mrs. Williams, in fact, that she even knows to the second at official Camden dinners when the water should be poured into the goblets and the candles lit.

Indeed, it is her fastidious attention to detail which has earned her high praise from such VIPs as Princess Margaret, Mrs. Barbara Bush, and the USSR Ambassador to the United States.

"A thoroughly sincere note of thanks for being such a lovely hostess during our all too short stay on your fabulous island-paradise,'' Mr. Chikvaidze wrote on the Ambassador's behalf. "My knowledge of English adjectives is not sufficient to express the whole panoply of my feelings. Thank you again for making a wonderful trip even better.'' On the wall of her cramped office in the Cabinet grounds is a framed letter from the Countess of Snowdon's private secretary which reads: "I am writing on behalf of Princess Margaret to tell you how much she appreciates all your hard work, a lot of it behind the scenes, to ensure the success of the official visit to Bermuda. Her Royal Highness knows only too well how much care and attention to detail is involved, and she is most grateful to you...'' An equally delighted Mrs. Barbara Bush wrote, in her own hand, "Dear Joan, Just a note to thank you for all you did to make my visit in Bermuda such fun -- so interesting and really so smooth. Thank you for everything.'' And these are just a tiny sampling of similar letters which casually fill her personal file for, despite all the top-notch accolades, Mrs. Williams remains a perfectly friendly, approachable and down-to-earth woman.

Which is why, perhaps, she has proved a popular choice as Government's first-ever Protocol Officer. When she retires on May 31 she will doubtless prove a tough act to follow.

Yet, with characteristic modesty, she says of her as yet unknown successor: "I don't expect for a moment that the person will do everything as I did it, and it won't bother me that they don't. Just as I have put my own stamp on the office, I am sure they will do the same.'' Asked what qualities it took to be a Protocol Officer, the former home economics teacher said: "First, it is important not to have one's own agenda, but to follow that of the Premier and Lady Swan. You also need to be conscientious, adaptable, and have a mind for detail. The job is very satisfying but can be quite stressful at times. The most difficult situations can arise, so you definitely need to have a sense of humour too.'' Naturally, Mrs. Williams has a fund of stories to illustrate this point but is extremely discreet in sharing them -- as befits someone in a position where tact and diplomacy are requisite. Naturally, she never names names. Instead, she will say: "There was a gentleman who ...'' In recalling preparations for the Queen's visit, for example, she speaks of a rehearsal where she was teaching women to curtsey. One of the men, who had just been schooled in bowing correctly, watched intently. On the day, he delivered a full curtsey to his sovereign! "Nerves,'' Mrs. Williams said of the gaffe.

Once, she found graffiti at the entrance to Camden minutes before a group of foreign dignitaries arrived. Fortunately, her frantic search for a can of spray paint to cover it was successful.

On another occasion, wind blew the china off the tables on the upper verandah moments before a tea party was due to begin. She soon put the mess to rights.

"I have to be prepared for all eventualities,'' she said. "Being adaptable and flexible is crucial in my job.'' Born in Manchester, England, and a graduate of Sheffield University, Mrs.

Williams originally came to Bermuda on a three-year contract as a home economics teacher at Prospect Secondary School for Girls.

During that time, she met the late barrister Mr. Coleridge Williams, whom she subsequently returned to marry.

From 1969 to 1982 she taught home economics at the secondary level at Dellwood School, now Northlands, before answering an advertisement for her present position.

"I hadn't actually seen the ad,'' Mrs. Williams remembered, "but I kept getting calls from all sorts of people telling me about this job which was `right up my street'.'' As the successful applicant, her career path took a dramatic turn from the one she had planned.

"I had done a diploma in educational administration at Oxford University because I wanted to become an Education Officer in the Department of Education,'' she remembered. "As it turned out, it was fortuitous because the administration aspect was important in this job.'' Before the post of Protocol Officer was created, a social organiser had been responsible for arranging Government-related ceremonies and hosting visiting dignitaries. When Mrs. Williams took office, she assumed those duties in addition to protocol matters.

"At the time it was envisaged that I would spend 75 per cent of my time at Camden organising social functions, and 25 per cent on protocol-related activity,'' she recalled. "However, it has balanced out to be just the opposite -- the majority of my time is spent organising ceremonies, special events, and visiting dignitaries.'' At Camden, Mrs. Williams directs, organises and co-ordinates all functions, as well as being responsible for its care and upkeep.

"For any event I am responsible for organising everything from the flowers to the Police, ironing and special cleaning,'' she said.

She works closely with the Premier and Lady Swan on their wishes and requirements, although she admits that, because the Premier is so busy, he prefers the two women to take care of the housekeeping aspects, such as menus and wine lists, themselves.

"I liaise with Lady Swan on all aspects of a function,'' Mrs. Williams said.

"We have a good working relationship and I always respect her wishes. I also don't hesitate to call the Premier when necessary.'' If Sir John is giving a reception or entertaining, the Protocol Officer is involved from start to finish. She begins by typing a proposed guest list and submitting it to the Premier and Lady Swan for approval. To this the couple will add their own choices before Mrs. Williams writes and despatches the invitations. In the case of dinner parties, she first telephones prospective guests to ascertain if they will be available before issuing the official invitations.

Thereafter, it is a case of organising the myriad details -- often over many months -- which culminate in a smooth, successful and happy occasion.

"I can take a cursory look around a room and know exactly how the function is going to be planned and how the setting is going to be,'' she said. "That comes with experience. You learn over the years what is important.'' Without fail, Mrs. Williams will be found, either behind the scenes or "out front,'' at every function, making sure all goes according to plan. At Camden, the Premier and Lady Swan always arrive 15 minutes before their guests, and Mrs. Williams at least an hour beforehand.

Although she has performed her duties hundreds of times, the Protocol Officer says she never grows bored because each event and mix of guests is different.

As a member of the Ceremonials Committee, she works closely with the deputy Governor, the Commissioner of Police and the Commanding Officer of the Bermuda Regiment on all ceremonial-related occasions.

"We each have our own area of involvement. I usually co-ordinate the guest list and seating,'' Mrs. Williams noted.

For Royal visits and similar major VIP occasions, she attends all rehearsals, standing in as the guest of honour where required. At such times her workload is enormous, and carried out in addition to her regular responsibilities.

On matters of protocol, Mrs. Williams' phone rings constantly with people wanting guidance on dress and other matters. Far from rejecting such details in today's increasingly casual world, she said "more and more people are concerned with trying to get it right''.

"I get calls from all sorts of organisations and groups where the Premier or Governor is involved wanting to know exactly what to do,'' she said.

Through being in the thick of planning every important event where Government is involved, and having met many of the major figures on the world stage (with pictures to prove it), the Protocol Officer has become a great asset to both to her employers and the public at large.

"Joan has been invaluable and assisted me in every aspect of running Camden,'' Lady Swan confirmed. "She has been energetic and imaginative, and has taken a great interest in everything. The house has taken on a new lease under her management. I will certainly miss her.'' Protocol Officer waves goodbye From Page 25 Reaching the pinnacle comes at a price, however. For years, Mrs. Williams has virtually put her personal life on hold from Monday to Friday at least, severing memberships in organisations and ceasing to pursue other interests as the demands of her day-and-night job have grown.

Therefore, weekends are savoured, not to entertain, but to relax and unwind.

Yet she says: "I have enjoyed my job thoroughly and I will miss it.'' Why, then, did she elect to take early retirement? "I have had two major illnesses which have made me value the quality of life, and I want to leave while I still have the energy to enjoy something other than working for Government, which I have done in total for over 30 years.'' While she would not be averse to "helping out'', if needed, on special occasions, she is looking forward, among other things, to spending more time in her garden, and may even write a book on etiquette.

First, however, she will journey to Buckingham Palace to meet the Queen on July 19. This time, however, things will be different: Joan Williams, MBE, will be a guest and an honours recipient -- and yes, her curtsey will be absolutely perfect.

MEMORIES ARE MADE OF THIS ... Retiring Government Protocol Officer Mrs. Joan Williams looks back on a 14-year career which has included organising functions and being responsible for the care and upkeep of Camden (left).

Before each dinner party, she makes a final check of the dining room (right) to ensure all is perfect. In preparing for the Queen's last visit, she assumed the sovereign's role during rehearsals at the Bermuda College (above).