reception for Australia's champion cricket players, it's as well to err on the side of reasonableness.

"Can you tell me where your team will be training, Mr. Edwards?'' The Royal Gazette reporter inquired.

Team manager Mr. Jack Edwards looked at the reporter quizzically. There seemed to be a hint of a smile.

"Training? The only training we will be doing is in beer drinking!'' *** Mix a few Poms with some Aussies, throw in a dash of cricketing jibes, and listen to the fizz, hiss and occasional pop.

Take this week's reception at Elbow Beach for Australia's cricket heroes, fresh from their 2-1 thumping of the West Indies.

A certain English hack from the Mid-Ocean News, bridling at the celebratory mood of our antipodean guests, couldn't resist stirring things up a bit.

A glass of vodka and tonic in hand, he sauntered up to Aussie captain Mark Taylor and bellowed: "Of course, you only won because the English softened the Windies up last year when we beat them hollow in the Barbados Test.'' If it was a ploy to extract an interview, it didn't work.

Taylor looked askance, quickly weighed up his options, and after rolling his eyes in an exaggerated manner, trotted off to join his mates, Shane Warne and company.

"Whingeing Pom,'' you could hear him thinking.

*** It must be hell for an English soccer fan to be living in Texas. On Monday night The Royal Gazette received a phone call from an Englishman wanting to know the score of the crucial Premier Division match between league leaders Blackburn and Newcastle.

That in itself is a fairly common occurrence -- fans not wanting to wait until they read the paper the next day to find out the score. But this call was from Texas! "I know this sounds a bit strange to you but I'm calling from Texas and there's no way I can find out the score,'' said the Englishman. After being told Blackburn had won 1-0 courtesy of an Alan Shearer goal, the caller sounded a little depressed. "I am a (Manchester) United fan,'' he said adding, "but thanks anyway.'' *** While grandiloquent speeches may come easy to the Premier, points of history do not.

Despite the absence of V-E Day celebrations, Bermuda's veterans of the Second World War were gratified by a speech given by the Premier on Sunday.

Sir John Swan paid tribute to "those who gave their lives in the defence of freedom'', "the glorious war dead'' and "those brave men and women of Bermuda's fighting forces''.

"To those war veterans who are still alive and whose memories of that terrible war are still vivid, I express the grateful thanks not only of the Government and people of Bermuda, but also those of the international community for their meaningful contribution to overcoming the forces of evil and oppression,'' he said.

"Those who have died and those who served in the Great War ... '' Great War!? Veterans must have looked at each other in amazement -- 50 years was a long time ago but not that long.

The Great War began in 1914.