*** Ben Elton, whose outrageous brand of satire, in which nothing -- and certainly no sacred cows -- escape his vituperative tongue and beadily observant eye, became a household name in Britain through his brilliant delivery of stand-up comedy TV shows and as a writer of such serial hits as `Blackadder'.

For Bermuda, however, the language and underlying cynicism of `Silly Cow' still has the power to shock. It was therefore a relatively bold move by BMDS and its director Phillip Jones, to stage this play here. Of course, that is what Daylesford is -- or should be -- all about, and the acerbic wit of this piece certainly makes a welcome change from the bland diet all too often served up in recent years.

Jones, who has more than earned his acting spurs here, has also directed for the Jabulani Repertory Company and is thought to be the only director to have two plays running simultaneously in Bermuda. Obviously revelling in the play's comic possibilities, he has produced as tight and sparkling a show as possible, given that his cast was a mix of the experienced and the neophyte.

Usually, this spreading of talent works fairly well and, again, is part of the experimental aim of Daylesford, wherein newcomers are encouraged to take the thespian plunge. Unfortunately, the plot, and particularly the ingenious denouement of this play -- which cannot be divulged as it would spoil the fun for those who have not yet seen it -- calls for very advanced acting skills indeed and it was unfortunate that Phillip Jones found himself working with a decidedly uneven cast.

From the writing point of view, Elton, who can normally count on a coterie of star performers to deliver his lines with pistol-shot timing, may well get away with a play construction in which all of the first act is dedicated to setting the groundwork (some might say, at a very leisurely pace) for the fireworks that finally erupt in the last third of the play. In the hands of lesser mortals, however, the first act tends to drift.

Barbara Jones was certainly equal to her role of tough-talking, tough-living celebrity journalist Doris who, even by tabloid standards has been labelled `ratbag of the ratings'. Hoping to make the transition to TV even as she's being sued by an actress -- one of the many victims of her acid-penned abuse -- her legal victory takes a bizarre turn as the plot finally gets underway.

Her re-enactment of the courtroom proceedings, a high point in the play, and delivered with raucous glee, had the audience laughing in spite of its finer sensibilities -- an Elton trademark.

There was a fine debut performance, too, from Simon Jack, playing Eduardo, her leather-clad, oily-toned `toy boy'. He has a natural talent which enables him to move well and his Cockney accent, punctuated with a irritatingly inane laugh, was right on target.

Alastair Vartan, first seen here in `There Goes the Bridge', has proved a welcome addition to Bermuda's theatre scene; his role as Doris's long-suffering, elderly accountant started meekly enough, but became a comic and, superbly delivered tour de force as the play reached its surprising climax.

John Thompson, playing Doris's would-be boss Sidney, might have felt more at ease in this essentially quick-fire repartee if he had been surer of his lines. As it was, this sleazy double-dealer, who should have been an equal sparring partner, came off as so obviously no match in the verbal vitriol stakes, that it came dangerously near to destroying the entire thrust of the play.

Gaynor Gallant, well known as a musician but, I believe, making her first bow as an actress, tried valiantly with a complex role which would surely have tested even an extensively trained actress. Ultimately, it was the thin quality of diction that let her down which, in turn, inevitably took some of the fizz from what should have been an exultantly frothy cocktail.

In spite of this casting imbalance, Jones has come up with a very funny, entertaining and refreshingly naughty play.

PATRICIA CALNAN THREATRE REVIEW REV THR