Abuse Free is a Domestic Violence Intervention Educational Programme, which is partially sponsored by Bermuda End-to-End. Groups are offered on different days, nights and times at convenient locations.

The cost for the programme is evaluated on an individual basis according to a sliding scale. Abuse Free -- coordinated by the Physical Abuse Centre -- is the only programme of its type in Bermuda.

Partners of Abuse Free are contacted on an individual basis to provide support, offer information, and to answer questions. Abuse Free is certified by No Abuse, Inc., which is in Orlando, Florida.

Who Can Benefit from the Programme? All different kinds of individuals can attend the Abuse Free programme.

Participants come from a wide variety of incomes, life experiences and ethnic backgrounds. Some people have been repeatedly physically violent, while what others have in common is a problem with other types of abuse, and an interest in changing.

Our Programme Teaches You To: 1. Take responsibility for your behaviour.

2. Understand that abuse is a choice and that you can choose not to be abusive, no matter how you are feeling.

3. Adopt new ways of communicating with your partner and your children.

4. Learn to respect the wishes and opinions of all family members.

5. Understand the effects of your abuse on your partner and your children.

6. Identify and change attitudes that lead to abusive behaviour. How do I know if my partner is changing? You are the best judge of whether real change is happening or not. Trust your gut feelings regardless of other signs. The following are some of the things to look for in your abuser: Has completely stopped saying and doing things which frighten you Doesn't punish you when you express anger Allows you to discuss upsetting topics without feeling unsafe Listens to your opinion and respect it, even if it is upsetting Respect your wishes about sex and physical contact Has stopped expecting you to do things for him/her Allows you to spend time with your friends without fear of retaliation Allows you to do other things that are important to you, such as go to school or get a job.

Makes you and your children comfortable when interacting with the children Makes you feel safe leaving the children alone with him/her Is supportive and gives compliments; truly listens to you Share household work and child care Some signs your abuser is NOT changing: Uses treatment against you in any way Tells you that you are abusive Pressures you to go to therapy for yourself or couple's counselling for the two of you Tells you that you owe him/her another chance Says that your support is necessary for change Tries to get your sympathy or your children's sympathy Requires encouragement or nagging to attend sessions and stay in the programme Minimises your abuse incidents when talking about it Expects something from you in exchange for being in the treatment programme Pressures you to make up your mind about the relationship or to move back in together.

Pressures you to drop your protection order Abuse Free facilitators can help a person realise their abusive behaviour and understand how it affects themselves, their partners and other family members.

Anyone who is concerned about their abusive behaviour, knows someone who can benefit from the programme, would like more information or to enrol, call 292-4009.

The Physical Abuse Centre is a part of The Family Resource Network, which consists of The Coalition for The Protection of Children, The Institute of Child & Family Health, P.A.R.E.N.T.S. and The Father's Resource Centre. The agencies joined in 1998 to better serve Bermuda's families with a common goal and shared vision.

Submitted by Nina Jones, PAC Counsellor HEALTH HTH