Physical Abuse Centre (PAC) helps with this typical scenario. She is not the first, and certainly will not be the last. To hear her tell it, it sounds like Romeo and Juliet. As she stares at the PAC walls, her story begins.

"We have been together since high school and I know of no one else. He was and still is my first love. I remember late night walks on the beach, and talking until the sun came up. We were so in love. He took me home to meet his family and treated my like a queen. Oh, to be young and in love again.

After years of `courting' he finally popped the big question, and we were married a year later. But one night after he went out drinking with the `boys', he came home drunk and wanted to conceive a child. I told him that I wasn't in the mood, but his mind was made up. What could I do? My mother taught me to be submissive to my husband. I begged and pleaded with him to stop, he turned to face me and then `Wham!' Right in the pit of my stomach. I couldn't breathe, I fell to the floor gasping for air. I couldn't believe it.

Had he just hit me? He couldn't have. He would never do that. He loves me.

The next morning, I went to work and found a lovely bouquet of flowers at my desks. Wow! I wonder who these are from? As I looked at the words on the car, tears came to my eyes. He said he was sorry and that it will never happen again. That evening when I arrived at home, the apartment was filled with flowers. As I walked into the kitchen, the table was set, and here he comes with the Chef's hat on, looking all fine. `Sit down and relax. Tonight, I'll take care of everything.' Months later, I went out with the girls for a fun night. I had so much fun. I rarely get to see them anymore. We went out to see `Waiting to Exhale'. As soon as I got inside of the kitchen door, `Whack!' I woke up the next day in a hospital room, with him right at my side. `Where am I?' `Just relax,' he said, `You're gonna be fine.' A policeman was standing there as well. `Do you remember what happened last night Ma'am?' the policeman asked. My husband replied, `She walked into a door.' The policeman asked again. `Do you remember what happened to you last night?' I looked at my husband and answered. `I walked into a door.' As I laid up in the hospital bed, I realised I needed to bare my soul to someone. I decided to do that with the counsellor at The Physical Abuse Centre. Apart from the counselling and lending a listening ear, she provided me with a complete support system as well as a mentor.

One Christmas, we were all gathered around the dinner table at his mother's house, and he was telling them how stupid he thought I was for burning the rice last week. I turned to him and said, `I simply forgot that it was on.' He flung his head in my direction and spit right in my left eye. `Nobody asked you! Now shut-up and eat!' The others at the table said not a word, and I just sat there in awe with tears rolling down my face.

Today, as I sit in the office of the counsellor at The Physical Abuse Centre, I wonder where it all went wrong. How could I have done things differently? We were so in love. How did it get to this point? I am reminded of the first time it happened, `He would never do that,' I thought, `because he loves me.''' To our readers: Has your partner ever restrained you in any way? Stopped you from leaving? Is being rough? Put you down or makes a scene? When you see these signs, it's time to seek help. Call us for a chat on 292-4366. Don't wait until it gets out of hand. Help Stop The Violence. Tomorrow may be too late. Often this behaviour is accepted in our community. But it is unacceptable, it should not be the norm. You always have options, even when you may fee caged in. Look for choices in life, there is always someone nearby to help.

The Physical Abuse Centre is a part of the Family Resource Network, which consists of The Coalition for the Protection of Children, The Institute of Child & Family Health, P.A.R.E.N.T.S. and The Fathers' Resource Centre. The agencies joined in 1998 to better serve Bermuda's families with a common goal and shared vision.