The original version of this story which appeared in RG Magazine was never sent to the LIBRARY, this is the unedited version.

Planning and a sense of humour are the keys to a stress-free wedding, writes Robin Zuill.

It's said to be the happiest time in a young couple's life -- a moment of sheer bliss, of perfect harmony. But what people always fail to mention to the happy couple is that it's an event that pits family against family, mother against daughter, and sometimes the bride-to-be against her fiance, not to mention that it can drive a successful father to bankruptcy.

A wedding.

Anyone who's already been through it might surely advise a young bride-to-be to elope, postpone the wedding, or worse call the whole thing off. Anything to skip all those plans -- book the church, book the carriages, write the guest list, the invitations, and oh! don't forget ... the flowers.

Those bells you hear ringing are far from wedding bells, they're alarm bells.

And so, the simple piece of advice here is ... prepare. Plan months, years ahead of time. The more meticulously you plan, and the earlier you plan, the less pressure there is nearer to the big day, and the less chance there is for something to go wrong. Most important though, remember, keep your sense of humour. And don't let anyone else tell you what you want on your wedding day.

Of course, it would always be easier to hire a wedding planner, someone who takes care of all the planning, booking, arranging, ordering, and reconfirming for you, but that might just all the fun out of getting married.

Your very first task, and probably not the easiest one, is deciding with your fiance when to stage the big event. That's when the church must be booked.

Often in Bermuda, the summer months May through September, are the busiest and church diaries can fill up quickly, so book as early as possible.

Once you've set the date, next on the list is determining who will be in your wedding party, how many guests will be invited, what your budget is, and the theme of the wedding.

Then it's the photographer, the person who is going to put the whole event on film if that's what you choose, a place to hold the reception and a caterer if one is needed. Transportation should also be booked at this time, again as far in advance as possible. Horse-drawn carriage is often a Bermuda bride's first choice of transportation to and from the wedding, and consequently must also be booked months ahead of time. And don't to forget transportation for family, and your transportation from the reception.

Then comes a moment of fun for the bride and her bridesmaids ... the dresses.

That can takes up to six months, including time for measurements and fittings.

At the same time, attire for the groom and his ushers should be selected and ordered.

The flowers are next on the list, and while many may not think the day they have chosen will be busy for florists, it's always best to at least book the florist's time. As Barbara Whitecross, who runs The Wedding Salon, says: "What you think is not a busy time, is crazy for the florist.'' Whitecross, whose company is Bermuda's only full service bridal salon with a full consulting service, says invitations are next on the list and should be ordered at least four months before the day. "That gives the bride enough time for invitations to be printed, a couple of weeks to address them and mail or deliver them, giving guests about five to six weeks' notice of the wedding.'' Music, for the church and the reception, whether you're having a band or a DJ, must also be booked up to four months in advance.

With a moment of rest in between, the next task, about three months before, is planning what Whitecross says are accessories -- ordering wedding rings, fixing accommodations for out-of-town guests, making rehearsal dinner arrangements, organising the bridesmaids' luncheon, purchasing gifts for bridesmaids and ushers and fiance if gifts are being exchanged, setting a time for the church rehearsal, planning the honeymoon, and don't forget the marriage license. It also helps if you begin writing thank-you notes as soon as you begin receiving them, especially if you're planning a large Bermuda wedding.

If you're beginning to feel stressed, a few words of advice: write everything down, a deposit always secures bookings, never hire friends or family unless they're professionals, reconfirm everything several times before the day, don't try to please everyone, and most important of all, try to compromise, and don't take all the pre-wedding commotion too seriously.

"I've been in this business for eight years, I do a couple of hundred weddings a year, and I always tell the girls not to worry, that everything will go okay on the day,'' says Whitecross. "I tell them, `Only worry about things you can change, not things you can't.' Of course there are no guarantees, but it all works out in the end. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred everything will go perfectly.'' Just try not to think about that one-in-a-hundred chance that something will go wrong.

Then, when the big day arrives, take a nice long bath, stay calm, and think happy thoughts. Now that all those hectic months of planning are behind you, try to feel good about what you're about to do and remember what your parents said, it's the happiest time of your life.

RG MAGAZINE MARCH 1993