recently. She hears Somerset's Lantana resort is planning to reopen after suddenly slamming its doors mid-season last year. The luxury cottage colony's been on the market ever since and some units have been rented out to business execs, fuelling rumours it may convert to a condo complex. But Hester now hears that owners the Youngs and Leseurs have secured a backer and want to reopen Lantana as a hotel pretty soon. What's more they've been calling up all the old staff asking them if they'd like to come back to work. (Hester can't help being just a little bit jealous that there's still NO such good news about the former Club Med property in her beloved St. George's. Perhaps she will have to run for mayor to get it open! Both of Bermuda's main political parties have hit the campaign trail this week -- albeit someone else's campaign. Government -- the ruling PLP -- and the PLP as a party (are you following so far?) have sent a grand total of 11 people to the UK Labour Party's annual conference in genteel Bournemouth. And the UBP are to send a more modest two of its number to the Conservative Party's annual meet in avowedly working-class Blackpool. But there may be good reason for such robust attendance; Hester's told the PLP consulted very closely with British Labour after its landslide victory in '97 ended years in the political wilderness and is looking for some more good pointers. And the UBP will be examining the Tories' attempts to acquire a social conscience and rebuild its fortunes after its worst-ever hammering at the polls.

However, while the Labour Government is still riding high in the popularity polls -- the PLP should be warned that not all in `New Labour's' garden is rosy. Hester's hears direct from Bournemouth that Prime Minister Tony Blair has been branded an autocrat with a Napoleon complex by one of his own advisors. And the party has been accused of arrogance and losing touch with its traditional working class support -- even the public service union has warned it won't take it any more. Firefirebrand MP `Red Ken' Livingstone -- the people's favourite -- may be blocked from running for Mayor of London because he's too, um, left-wing in a socialist sort of way for Tony's taste.

Hmmm! Meanwhile, Hester's been keeping her ear to the ground for scoop on the PLP's own upcoming annual conference. Political instinct tells her still popular leader Jennifer Smith , who led the party to its stunning victory last November, will get another year in the No. 1 seat at least. But some of the restless backbench apparently have their own ideas...the latest is DOGS minister Terry Lister , post-Morgan's Harbour fiasco, is no longer the golden boy. Hester hears Environment Minister, esteemed Rhodes Scholar and ex-judge Arthur Hodgson is the current favourite, should there be a leadership challenge in November, of course...

Despite the fact her phone has been on the blink for several weeks now, and the telephone company repairman who did finally show up at her home, asked a.) to borrow her tools, and then, b.) said it was not his job to fix this particular problem anyway, Hester is starting to feel a bit sorry for BTC .

But it seems the company is its own worst enemy. Hester's told five customer services operators who took early retirement offered by management a few months ago are absolutely fuming over subsequently being turned down flat when they applied for several part-time operator positions recently advertised. The job entailed exactly the same work as they had done before, yet they each received letters of rejection from BTC hirer Thad Hollis , who tactfully explained a lot of people had applied so it was tough to decide who to take on, but ever so kindly, he added he would keep their applications on file should a more "suitable position'' become available. Huh!!!But it doesn't end there. The company then had the nerve to call back the rejected applicants and ask them to help train the new team of operators -- an "insult'', one told Hester, that has angrily been refused.

Hester has a tidbit of celebrity gossip for fans of film star Michael Douglas ...he jetted into the Island again this week, and has been spotted holding court at the pub of his family-owned Ariel Sands Club resort. No word on whether current love interest Catherine Zeta-Jones is with him, perhaps recovering from their all-night joint birthday bash (they share the same birthday) this past Saturday night at New York's trendy One51. Douglas turned 55, while Zeta-Jones hit the big 30.

It looks like there's a battle of the coffee table books brewing -- and a picture tells a thousand words. Hester's told snap-happy Scott Stallard's new book, laboriously titled Bermuda Island Life 1999, looks remarkably similar to veteran tourism photographer Roland Skinner's Picturesque book -- both in shape and content. Hester wonders if it has anything to with the fact Skinner's book has sold a whopping 27,000 copies to date -- far more than Stallard's first book ever did, which makes it the local bestseller. It was so successful that Hester hears Skinner is next month coming out with a new book of his own, Picturesque II. So who's zooming who? Hester often gets a laugh out of some of the bizarre ads that appear in Granny's Pennysavers classifieds for items under a hundred bucks. Not that Hester needs any help in this er, department, but while scanning an ad for a "male red devil cichlid''(an exotic aquarium fish) she couldn't help but notice a titillating ad just above for "breast-enlarging tapes''. The seller claims the tapes are guaranteed to add an entire 1-3 1 inches in just 60 days to a lady's bust...surprisingly there's been no takers yet.

Finally, Hester had another chuckle when she read in the Boston Globe that Americans planning to cruise from Boston to Bermuda were "not too happy'' that their ship was diverted to, of all places, Canada's decidely less than tropical Prince Edward Island, to avoid hurricanes Floyd and Gert. Miffed passengers aboard Norwegian Majesty , expecting to call in the sunny, sandy paradise of Bermuda, claim they had absolutely no idea until they steamed into the harbour of nippy PEI that the cruise itinerary had been so radically altered. What's more, they claim, when they arrived in what was obviously not Bermuda, the captain never even apologised for the northerly switch. Hester smells a lawsuit.

Here together? Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones.