amused by a rather cute misprint in The Royal Gazette 's apartments to rent section.

Tuesday's paper listed a Southampton duplex (whatever that is) which featured "one bedroom, one bathroom, dining and living rooms, small dog''.

Hester pictured a rather fussy terrier running the rule over prospective tenants and opting for the ones who promise the most bones and walks.

Hester's reporter friends have a rough life, if they are not being talked about on talk shows or threatened by defendants -- they get threatened by magistrates.

During a recent heated hearing in the Juvenile Court a father -- understandably -- protested at the presence of a certain reporter.

Magistrate Carlisle Greaves explained to the man the media have a right to be in the courtroom, adding: "They appear to know the law on this better than we lawyers do!'' The man appeared to be unconvinced, suggesting that "this is my daughter's future. One mistake and her name goes in the paper''.

Mr. Greaves further explained that printing the name of a juvenile risks a fine or jail or both.

But before the magistrate could bark his customary "next move!'' in the kind of snide remark that lawyers are notorious for -- lawyer Richard Horseman asked Mr. Greaves: "Oh? You wouldn't lock up one of your tools, would you?'' Apparently, Mr. Horseman and others of his profession seem to believe that it is not just Camden that have a cult of personality.

"Tool?'' snorted the Barbadian magistrate, eying the reporter. "Huh! Any good workman locks up his tools at the end of the day.'' Even the children in the room understood that one.

It is no wonder that the courts are clogged up with those who see traffic laws as a minor inconvenience to their progress on the roads if the example set by the Island's top lawmaker this week was anything to go by. Sat at a red traffic light next to the Par-La-Ville gas station, impatience got the better of Dame Lois Browne Evans , who decided she couldn't wait for green and promptly steered her GP up and over the pavement, squeezing it through a gap not meant for cars and onto the forecourt, where she parked. A few byelaws broken, so what you say, but what was probably worse were the two alert uniformed Police Officers who managed to go through the gas station at exactly the same time as Dame Lois went off-roading.

Bermudians are never usually lost for words or completely underwhelmed by occasion, but one of the tourism industry's finest put on a great show of understatement this week. Nominated for a top prize in the Visitor Industry Partnership Excellence Awards and confronted with a film crew to capture her amazed reaction, the front desk worker at a certain Hamilton hotel promptly ignored the camera and carried on her duties, not even glancing in the direction of the bemused crew. Despite their pleas that she "could win a holiday or cruise'' or "you could be the best of the best and win $20,000'', she just would not acknowledge the poor VIP team....suffice to say, she didn't win the top prize! Judging by the number of restaurants offering Thanksgiving fare today and the plummeting numbers of US visitors...there may be more eateries than diners on the streets today. Anyway, this just in, overheard on the morning ferry into Hamilton yesterday: "Yes, we're having Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow night Oh, but you're not American Yes, but we like an excuse for a good meal Mmm...it's a pity we don't have a Thanksgiving Ah, but we do, the Thanksgiving Ecumenical Service presided over by Premier Jennifer Smith, celebrating two years of Government Right, but you don't get a turkey Ah, but you do! Hester knows how dedicated those smart, brainy civil servants are, burning the midnight oil in Bermuda's good name...but apparently some are so wedded to their desks they don't want to go home -- or perhaps they can't go home because they have locked themselves inside the building.

Yes, a highly embarrassed "big wig'' in the department of birds and bees...managed to lock himself in a foyer after letting the door close behind and then realising he didn't have his security pass. ..worse still, there was only a public phone and he had no cash...thanks then to the friendly telephone operator who let him make one mercy call and to the Government employee who returned at a late hour to set the wilting worker free...let's just hope his imprisonment didn't go down as OT.