Phone service to the good and the great of Bermuda.

So it was no surprise when it offered a free trial account for their new long distance service to Hester, who -- along with other members of media as well as Minister of Telecommunications Renee Webb -- snapped up the service looking to save a penny or two.

But Hester's excitement was a little premature. Being a thrifty sort, Hester was mighty sore when she was told the trial account was put on hold due to `extensive upgrades' only days after being told she would be signed up.

Hester should have remembered there's no such thing as a free lunch.

Global business' attempt to contact Hester was once again thwarted by the inefficiency of the US postal service. The men and women who sort the mail cannot have been wearing their specs when they sent off a clearly marked letter to the Bahamas.

Well known around the world as a woman who would never turn down an invitation to a champagne reception, Hester was heartbroken when she saw the invitation was for a glittering party at the RIMS conference in San Francisco...in May.

The invitation, which was post marked April 11, arrived crumpled and forlorn, stamped "sent to Bahamas in error''.

Hester can well understand the local euphoria surrounding hometown soccer hero Shaun Goater -- Manchester City's "goal machine''. But she thinks all the capitalising on the English Premier League player is going just a little too far.

An ad appeared in her favourite newspaper's classified section a week ago for none other than "Shaun Goater's Residential & Office Cleaning Services -- If you haven't got the time we have!''. Unless, and Hester highly doubts it, the talented striker has decided to give up his six-figure salary and all those soccer star perks to kick around a mop and vacuum cleaner, this must be someone's idea of a good marketing gimmick. Now she did read about a cleaning service Shaun was helping his mother and cousins set up, but according to the article in this paper that service was supposed to be called Cleaning Solution Services...

After Hester's spanking this week for daring to point out a general loss of politeness and phone courtesy, she's going to step on a few toes about getting the facts right.

It seems her competition in Prospect have not learned how to spell the name of their neighbour, Police Commissioner Jean-Jacques Lemay .

On Tuesday night's zee bee em news they dubbed him Jean Jacques Le May. Hester remembers how hard it was for her anglophile colleagues in the newsroom to get on top of the top cop's name.

But this one is easy. Journalists who get Mr. Lemay's name wrong just have to remember that when they do, they will cause the Commish great dis may! By now readers should know, Hester likes to dine out. Most times, it is a pleasing experience, she must admit, but sometimes...not...as in the case of a recent visit to a certain popular restaurant on the beach. The last few seasons she has thoroughly enjoyed dining on delightful dishes that perfectly compliment the seaside ambience. Alas, she returned this season to a completely new restaurant. Gone was the feeling of tranquillity and space.

Every possible space on the boarded terrace was taken up with tables. In fact if you fell off your bar stool you'd probably land on a table there were so many squeezed in! More to the point, the food was a disaster and the service rushed; in the place of the light summery dishes of seasons past were heavy, hot dishes more suited to one of the owners' many Italian restaurants in the city than a seaside cafe. Bermuda fish, or for that matter Bermuda-anything, was conspicuously absent from the odd little menu, but there were plenty of pasta, swordfish, lamb and pork dishes for the tourists. After seeing her guest's perplexed looks upon reading the menu, Hester asked a slick looking maitre d' why there was no Bermuda fish. He cheekily replied: "We don't want to compete with our other restaurant up there'' (which also overlooks the beach, but is a little more pricey).

To that, Hester, exercising her famous wit, replied: "We'll have to find new owners for this restaurant then!'' Finance Minister Eugene Cox could have been excused if he had fallen off his ministerial pew when in Paris last week attending the OECD conference.

While he was quietly listening to other finance ministers blab on he was accosted by former Royal Gazette political reporter Raymond Hainey .

The prickly Scottish thistle quit the Island two weeks ago to travel the world and Hester understands the Government very much hoped they had seen the back of him.

What the Minister of Finance may not have realised is that the thorn in the side of the PLP had already been commissioned to cover the event by The Royal Gazette . Who knows where the now roving reporter will turn up next...Maybe the Premier should watch out on her next impromptu official visit abroad.