Hotel.

*** Illicit and would-be illicit liaisons complicated by cordon bleu cookery provide the setting for a glittering farce by Marc Camoletti.

`Don't Dress for Dinner' is quite the funniest play of its kind in recent memory -- as London theatregoers have been discovering for the past five years. Now, Jabulani Repertory Company have leapt on this lunatic bandwagon, having secured the first performing rights of the smash hit on this side of the Atlantic. Quite a coup.

Patricia Pogson scores a hit all of her own with some inspired handling of a genre that she has probably never explored until now. Backed up by a marvellously lucid cast, this production, too, has the potential to keep Bermuda audiences laughing for years to come. Even on a second viewing, its sparkle seems to increase rather than diminish.

It must be admitted that, also after a second viewing, the serpentine twists and turns of this comedic tour de force are no easier to trace: one outlandish situation after another multiplies into a melange of delicious confusion in a stylishly converted farmhouse just outside Paris. In any case, to disclose the denouement of the tortuous and seemingly endless intrigues that evolve throughout this hilarious evening, would be unthinkable.

Suffice to say that trouble, big time, hovers in the air the moment that Bernard, the hero of this cautionary tale, takes advantage of his wife Jacqueline's projected visit to her mother, to invite his chic mistress down from Paris for the weekend. With his best friend, Robert, invited along as an alibi, and a cordon bleu cook to provide gourmet sustenance, Bernard is all set -- until Jacqueline changes her plans. Now the elaborate dance of deception is set in breathtaking motion that never lets up until two mentally exhausting and hilarious hours later.

Written by an Italian for the French theatre and adapted by Robin Hawdon for English-speaking audiences, this piece shares the universal entertainment appeal that farce traditionally attracts. In this case, however, Marc Camoletti has devised a plot of staggering complexity, spiced up with a script that certainly has its puns and double entendres, but also liberally laced with witty irony.

A lightning pace is, of course, essential, and Patricia Pogson has obviously cracked the whip here. Once assured of the cast's fluency (no small achievement in a script like this) she has polished their delivery to professional heights. She understands the importance of split-second timing of every movement in a farce and the result is a play that works on all levels.

Leading the cast is Arthur Lugo as the hapless Bernard. His professional training (at the famed Guildhall School of Music and Drama in London), certainly shows; of all the cast, he best understands and best demonstrates the importance of that `natural' demeanour which makes him an essentially ordinary bloke who is swept along by a series of increasingly preposterous and, let's face it, unlikely situations.

Tricia Morgan, who plays his wife Jacqueline, gets a chance here to really show her acting mettle after a succession of `beautiful princess' roles in pantos and the like. This is a wonderfully fluent performance though, frankly, if I were Bernard, I would think twice about two-timing someone as sharp (even shrewish) as this.

The other lion's share of the acting roles goes to Paul Matthews, who plays Robert, friend of Bernard (and secret lover of Jacqueline). Perhaps of all the roles, his lines are the fullest, and certainly the most complicated as he attempts, over and over again, to elucidate the state of uproarious play that builds in the course of this most unusual dinner party. This he copes with magnificently, never fluffing or even hesitating on a line.

Farce is acknowledged, amongst the most accomplished professionals, as being the most difficult form of acting -- so much so that many avoid it like the plague. Unfortunately, he makes the error, common to amateurs, and not unknown among the professionals, of over-acting. Patricia Pogson, in a rare instance of misplaced judgment, has allowed him far too free a rein: the result is overly contorted facial expressions which, at times, almost hurtle this piece into the abyss of burlesque which, of course, is never the intention of farce.

Carol Birch leapt into the local limelight with her outstanding portrayal in the one-woman show, `Shirley Valentine', for BMDS a couple of years ago. It was good to see her in another play that exploits her considerable comedic talents. As the cordon bleu cook who arrives to prepare the gourmet feast and ends up playing a dizzying variety of other `roles' (for which she charges 200 francs a go -- "I don't do it just for fun'' she exclaims in one of many double entendres to a bewildered Robert, who thinks she is referring not to cooking, but to sex), Carol Birch is a natural. She also has some of the best lines of the evening, and she plays them to the hilt.

Canadian Marina Brown is a virtual newcomer to the theatre and copes well with her role as the mistress. Further experience will add more verbal confidence to this role but she already shows promise -- the moment, for instance, when she is handed a wrap-around apron (she is mistaken for the cook) and fumbles about as she tries to figure out how this thing actually works.

Completing the cast is Mark Pettingill as George, a ferocious hulk who betrays a softer side to his menacing persona as he calls his wife `Petal' and grins happily when she addresses him as `Flower'.

All in all, an evening of high entertainment and laughter that has universal appeal. The next chance to see it is February 9, 10 and 11. If you're feeling even the teeniest bit blue, `Don't Dress for Dinner' is the perfect cure.

PATRICIA CALNAN DINNER IS SERVED -- A smash hit recipe for non-stop laughter is provided by the cast of Jabulani Repertory Company's production of Don't Dress for Dinner.

Pictured are (back row, left to right) Paul Matthews, Mark Pettingill, Carol Birch, Marina Brown and (front row) Tricia Morgan and Arthur Lugo.