society -- is quite clearly mightier than the sword.

Hester reported only weeks ago of the classic Pickled Onion put down-line by one of a pair of mystery blondes, with the rapier-like wit of the two alleged to come from Texas ("Hi, I'm Jermaine'' -- "Not to this conversation you're not, hon.'').

Now Hester has been besieged by elegant blondes complaining that their social lives are in danger of total ruin.

One related that chaps are too nervous to approach them for fear of being cut off at the knees with a Dorothy Parker-type retort.

The lady -- a Canadian who sounds perhaps a little American to Bermudian ears -- griped that she was approached by a man she described as a rather handsome devil who nervously inquired if she was from Texas, or anywhere else in the US for that matter.

When the Canuck replied, a shade indignantly, in the negative the chap said: "Thank God for that -- my name's Jermaine.'' It's just as well Hester is a modest sort of gal -- otherwise all this influence might go straight to my little head.

Hester was pleased to hear Environment Minister Arthur Hodgson's appeal in the House of Assembly two weeks ago to "tone down the rhetoric'' in the debate over foreigners. He said he had been involved in a meaningful dialogue with businesses and complained that the media wrongly depicted an "emotional outburst'' on the subject. Invoking Bermuda's tradition of friendliness and good manners, he called on supporters of sustainable development to "maintain our equilibrium in the face of provocation and name-calling''. Very sensible suggestions for improving public debate.

It's a pity his fellow PLP MPs weren't listening. For an hour later, bang on cue, they launched into their usual jeering at the mere mention of Hester's favourite newspaper. The knee-jerk, er, "emotional outburst'' came when UBP MP Allan Marshall quoted a Royal Gazette story in which Police Commissioner Jean-Jacques Lemay urged the public to come forward with information on officers involved in pyramid schemes. No matter that the story was, of course, correct. No matter that it was based on a written statement from Mr. Lemay. No matter that it also appeared in the Bermuda Sun. The fact that it appeared in The Royal Gazette was the only justification needed for trashing the story.

Hester wonders if Government MPs, in the spirit of Mr. Hodgson's words, are going to drop this tedious shoot-the-messenger routine.

One of Hester's fellow journalists got a lesson in the law this week when he found himself stuck in court -- only to find he was not required to attend until the afternoon.

As Magistrate Edward King started the 10 a.m. session at 10.20 a.m., Court Two was crowded with 60 people, including prisoners from Westgate, prison officers, Police, people in Police custody, and poor saps like Hester in for minor stuff.

Thank god the air conditioning held out, unlike the power which dropped out for a good 20 seconds.

In one case, Mr. King challenged a prosecutor on whether a man could be charged for trespassing if under the law he had to be served with a registered letter -- and had not received it.

"If my wife told me `don't come home' and I went back and then you charged me after you say you sent me a registered letter at my last known address, how?'' Mr. King asked.

King by name he may be and master of his court -- but he doesn't hold a candle to His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie.

The defendant's head was wrapped in a skully covering his dreadlocks -- an act of grudging respect to "Babylon'' by Rastafarians. And when asked to plead to speeding at 59 kph, he said "guilty by your laws'' and "your honour or whatever you call yourself''.

The accused was also angered that he was not given until the middle of April to pay the fine -- which was about $200.

Mr. King was clearly put out and said: "Sir, don't make it worse'' and "look, this is a court of law, it's not a place to make fun''.

Ah, so he says.