ANNIE'S MAILBOX(R) FOR RELEASE: SUNDAY, APRIL 25, 2010

Dear Annie: After five years of regular and consistent visits with my 8-year-old son, I have decided to stop seeing him. This is heartbreaking for both of us, but I can no longer tolerate my ex-wife's behavior.

This woman insults and bullies me, continues to interfere with my decreed visits with our son and shows me absolutely no respect. Worse, I am still physically attracted to her, and when I pick up my son, she intentionally makes me see her. This is especially painful since I still have feelings for her. Reconciling is out of the question.

I married her for the right reasons, but she married me because she had an opportunity to get a green card. I think I should unleash her by no longer exercising regular visitations with our son. This is a very difficult decision, but it should help me in the long run. Am I thinking right? -- Walking Away

Dear Walking Away: Absolutely not. It may be in your best interest right now to abandon your son, but it is not in his best interest, and in the long run, you will regret it, as well.

This is not about your ex-wife. It is about your child, who needs you and will not understand why you don't love him enough to stick it out. You have a responsibility to this boy and should not give up on him because it's difficult and distracting for you.

You need to find a healthier way to deal with your ex. First talk to your lawyer about arranging visitation so she cannot "interfere." Then get some counseling to figure out how to stop letting her manipulate you into giving her exactly what she wants -- sole custody of your son.

Dear Annie: I want to throw a birthday party for my best friend, "Olivia." However, she is still friends with "Ava," a person I can't stand. We used to be friends, but no longer.

Now some mutual friends say I have to invite Ava to the party anyway. Do I have to do this, even though I'm paying for everything? These friends know I don't like Ava, and they insist I include her, which makes me feel as if they like her more than me. Am I being petty? -- Loudmouth in Connecticut

Dear Connecticut: If you are paying for the party, you get to invite the people you want. However, those mutual friends have a point -- the party is for Olivia, and it might make her happy to have all her friends there. Ava's absence would surely be noticed and commented on, making her more of a focus than you'd like. You are not obligated to invite Ava, but doing so would make you seem gracious and mature. The choice is yours.

Dear Annie: This is for "Never Kissed a Girl," the 17-year-old boy who has never had a girlfriend. I suggest he follow Dale Carnegie's "Six Ways to Make People Like You." When he does (especially rule No. 4), he will have more girlfriends than he will know what to do with. I've been following these rules for 50 years, and people think I'm the greatest conversationalist alive. -- Manchester, Mo.

Dear Manchester: Several readers suggested Dale Carnegie's list. Here it is:

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.

2. Smile.

3. Remember that a person's name is to him or her the sweetest and the most important sound in any language.

4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

5. Talk in terms of the other person's interest.

6. Make the other person feel important -- and do it sincerely.

Printed with permission from Dale Carnegie, "How To Win Friends and Influence People."

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2010 CREATORS.COM