ANNIE'S MAILBOX(R) FOR RELEASE: SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2009

Dear Annie: Our next-door neighbors have a wood stove that is their primary heating system. My family is the victim of their invasive smoke. We have put plastic around our windows, but the smoke still enters our house through the vents, electrical outlets, etc. Our air purifier cannot keep up with the foul air.

We have tried to reason with these neighbors, but they believe they are saving money, and this is more important than our well-being or safety. We have gone to the mayor's office, fire department and police for help. The fire department said their wood stove is up to code, which means it is OK for us to continue breathing toxic smoke and suffer at the hands of these burners next door.

We cannot afford to move for at least another two years and don't have the money to fight this in court. With all the research I've done on wood smoke, I have become an activist against wood burning. What else can we do? -- Puffed Out

Dear Puffed: Based on the response of the fire and police departments, we assume the neighbors are not violating any ordinances. You can, however, report the smoke nuisance to your local EPA office (epa.gov). Efficient wood stoves should not be sending smoke into the neighbors' homes.

Many cities offer neighbor-to-neighbor mediation to help work through disputes like this, and we recommend you look into it. You also can find a private mediator through the National Conflict Resolution Center (ncrconline.com), 625 Broadway, Suite 1221, San Diego, CA 92101.

Dear Annie: I've lived in California for 34 years. Since I have no family here to share special occasions with, my husband and I often ask our friends to celebrate their birthdays and anniversaries with us. We suggest they select the restaurant and the date, and we'll pick up the tab.

The problem I'm having is the lack of response. I don't get it. Is this rude, or am I missing something? Should I just assume they are not interested and move on, or ask again, or what? -- Perplexed

Dear Perplexed: We think you've put your friends in an awkward position by expecting them to tell you when to treat them and how expensive it's going to be. Here's a different suggestion: The next time your friends have a special occasion coming up, call and invite them out for dinner. You pick the time and place, and they have the option of accepting or not.

Dear Annie: This is for "Depressed and Overwhelmed," the woman who has struggled with depression for more than 30 years.

Depression is a chemical imbalance, and I urge her to keep trying different medications. I, too, have suffered, and my loving family has suffered with me. I have felt that my soul was dying. But when I finally found the correct medication, it was as if I had found myself again.

I cannot afford health insurance or a therapist, and my medication is not cheap. But it is worth every penny to be able to once more enjoy life and see its possibilities rather than dead ends and blocked paths. She must do whatever she must to scrape together the money to see a physician. My mother also suffered from depression, but she gave up and eventually became an alcoholic. It pains me to think that, had she continued to seek care, we could have had many wonderful years together. I vowed not to do the same to my family.

I have been on the right medication for six years. Please don't give up. Life CAN be worth living again. -- Someone Who Has Been There

Dear Someone: It's wonderful that you finally found a medication that works for you. Now we can only hope "Depressed" sees your letter and takes your advice.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS.COM