Dear Annie: I am a 66-year-old woman. I took care of my husband for many years before he died. We loved each other deeply. But because of his illness, there was no sex for the last ten years of his life.

I am now with a man who is 49. He says he loves me and that I'm desirable, but in two years, he hasn't tried even once to make love to me. He has all kinds of excuses, but I'm fed up with not having a partner. I'm unhappy and depressed. We hardly share the same bed, since he falls asleep every night watching TV in the recliner. He has health problems, but not so bad that there should be no intimacy. Should we go to counseling or call it quits? — Lonely in California

Dear Lonely: When a 49-year-old man has no interest in sex, there is often a medical reason, such as low testosterone. Ask him to see his doctor and have his levels checked. However, if he hasn't shown any interest in intimacy in two years and makes no effort to do anything about it, we don't hold out much hope.

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 15 years. For financial reasons, we are only able to afford one vacation a year, so we always visit his parents, who live five hours away.

Since having children, the family home is too crowded, so we end up in a hotel, making it more expensive.

I believe my in-laws deserve these visits, and they are good for our children. I have to admit, however, that I am tired of never going anywhere else.

My husband's father passed away two years ago, and his mother has Alzheimer's. She is in excellent physical health and has assistants in her home every day, plus occasional visits from my sister-in-law. Still, Mom will probably need to be in a nursing home within a year or two.

My question is, when it's time for her to be moved, would it be appropriate to suggest we bring her to our town? My reason, sadly, is somewhat selfish. Having her here would allow us to see her frequently, and we could still take an annual vacation somewhere else.

I don't want to offend my husband by asking. Am I wrong to think this way? — Selfish Wife

Dear Wife: Not at all. You are simply phrasing it incorrectly. The point of moving Mom to your area is to be closer to her, to keep an eye on her care and to be able to see her more often. We doubt your husband would object. In fact, when parents require more demanding care, many children encourage them to move closer for precisely those reasons. You should not only suggest this to your husband, but he should discuss it with his sister. It's time.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Washington", whose boyfriend's sisters are overweight and have body odour.

I am a teacher. One year, I had a student with an odour problem that required airing out the room when he left. I approached the school nurse, the school counsellor and a relative of the young man who happened to work at the school and suggested they speak to him. Several changes were made, but the smell persisted.

We discovered that due to his obesity, moisture was trapped under the folds of skin, and it created an environment for yeast to grow. Once this was treated, the odour subsided. Those with such problems need to dry themselves quite thoroughly after showering and put powder under the folds of skin, especially in the summer. This could be the problem for those sisters. Approaching them about it with sensitivity may be difficult, but she could be doing them a favor. — Been There in New York State

Dear NYS: If one is willing to approach such a subject with kindness, it can be tremendously helpful.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, California 90045, USA.