Dear Annie: I am 17. Last year, I got into a relationship with "Jeremy," who was 19. He was my first boyfriend. Our relationship got serious pretty fast. He told me early on that he wanted kids. After six months of being together, I got pregnant. I am now five months along.

Jeremy just lost his job and doesn't seem to be trying to get a new one. He says I need to get a job first. I don't feel this is fair. I've been trying to find work, but even though I have my diploma, most places want you to be 18. Jeremy says he can't find employment because he's a 20-year-old dropout with no GED.

What should I do? We are both jobless and living with parents. — Frustrated Teen Mom in Omaha

Dear Teen: Letters like yours make us sad. Too many teenage girls romanticise having a baby and believe it will bring them a stable, loving family. The reality is, the boy is invariably too young and immature to provide any stability and often resents being "trapped." If you decide to keep the baby, Jeremy is legally responsible for child support, and you should encourage his participation in the child's life. But please don't count on him to take care of you. Are your parents supportive? Will they help raise the baby? You can find prenatal care and counselling through Planned Parenthood (plannedparenthood.org) at 1-800-230-PLAN (1-800-230-7526).

Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Happy and Sad in Oklahoma," whose wife has "checked out" of their sex life at age 48. He said their counsellor told him it was unrealistic to expect an exciting and fulfilling sex life at this age.

I applaud you on your response saying the counsellor is wrong. It is indeed possible to have a loving, connected, meaningful sex life after menopause, but it takes commitment and work from both partners. The best therapist for this sometimes-challenging work is a board-certified sex therapist. Please advise "Happy and Sad" to go to the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (aasect.org) to find one in their area. — Andrea Mattisen-Haskins, LICSW BCD, AASECT Diplomate of Sex Therapy, AASECT Supervisor

Dear Andrea Mattisen-Haskins: Many readers weighed in on this, and most were supportive of finding a route to a healthier sex life. Read on:

From Chicago: When I was 48, I had the same response to sex. I was indifferent at best and mildly repulsed at worst. The year I turned 50, my sex drive returned full force. We had sex every day and now do crazy things that never would have occurred to us when we were younger. What was the catalyst? The kids got married, my parents passed away after long illnesses, I finally hit five weeks of vacation at my job, and we got a cleaning lady. I had time to myself for the first time in 20 years. Fortunately, my sweet husband gave me a free pass on those years when I was an Ice Princess. God bless him.

Texas: Why is it the woman who needs fixing? This is a normal process of life. Why should she introduce chemicals into her body to improve her libido? Men shouldn't be dosed with chemicals, either, just to satisfy their egos. They need to accept the effects of menopause as part of nature and encourage all the other ways to enjoy life together. No woman should expect this kind of caveman attitude.

Shreveport, La.: Menopause is worse than it seems. Many doctors checked my wife and said everything was fine. Every woman suffering from loss of libido should run to an OB/GYN who specialises in hormones. It took four months for my wife to get the levels right, and I wish I were younger so I could keep up with her.

Arizona: AARP produced an excellent video series about having a healthy sex life well into your last decades. The videos are graphic and accompanied by excellent instruction by medical professionals. I recommend them.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.