Grief over death is a delicate subject. Many of us have no idea how we will react to the death of a loved one until it happens.

When it does our reactions can surprise us and we may struggle for ways to cope and return to the normalcy of our life before the loss of the loved one.

Sharon Apopa was a twin until last March when her sister Caron Laquita Assan, who suffered from heart problems, died. Mrs. Apopa is the Programme Manager for Child and Adolescent Services and a licensed social worker. As such she was fully aware of the stages of grieving when her beloved sister passed away but she found it difficult nonetheless.

To help get her through the grief process she started a journal.

"When Caron passed I found out that there was a stage of dealing with loss that preceded grief and that was anguish," said Mrs. Apopa.

"My sadness at her loss was so profound, that the pain was beyond verbalizing. Even though many people rallied around me in support, and asked what I needed, the intensity of the emotion immobilized my ability to express what I felt. Grief came as a relief to me, for I knew that grief had a process, and I had a hope of moving from one stage to another. Writing the memories helped me to focus on the blessings of having shared a life with her."

And almost a year after she started that journal Mrs. Apopa has managed to turn it into a book, 'Jesus Was Her Keeper, Memoirs of Caron's Journey with God from life to eternal life'.

"I decided to publish the book to share what I had discovered about God's presence in suffering and death, and to encourage other families who have suffered a sudden loss, to utilize the tool of journaling as a means of surviving the grief process," said Mrs. Apopa. "Converting the journal into a book renewed my purpose in life, and kept me attached to her," she added.

She said after her sister died she worried that she and others might forget her. So she wrote as a means of chronicling what was still fresh in her mind.

"Nights when sleep eluded me, and the pain hammered at my heart and my head, I would escape into a world of pleasant memories, and after penning a few thoughts about her would drift off into sleep," she said.

"Through journaling, I began to develop a sense of understanding for the fact that although she died suddenly, it was not without purpose."

To mark the first anniversary of her sister's death, Mrs. Apopa will launch her book at a fundraising concert celebrating Caron's life. The night of entertainment will show Caron's appreciation for the arts and feature five aspects of her personality. There will be family segment, a phenomenal woman segment, a gospel segment, a classy segment and a transformational segment.

There will be a small art show, singing, dance and a spoken word piece performed about Caron's life by Gina Spence Farmer.

Mrs. Apopa said her twin was most concerned that children who had average and below average grades were also given chances to have higher education. She said her sister felt education was a Weapon of Mass Destruction, to reach back and eradicate illiteracy, mental slavery and break the glass ceiling.

Caron was the chairperson of the Board at Shekinah Worship Center and that church established a scholarship fund in her name to continue her legacy of giving through education.

"The scholarship while not excluding high academic achievers will focus on assisting those desiring a second chance at life through education. Caron worked for many years as a nurse at St. Brendan's hospital, served as the Director of Fair Haven Christian Center, developed the Women's Treatment Center and was a trained cognitive behavioural therapist, she believed in rehabilitation and the power of transformational change," said Mrs. Apopa."This concert will raise funds to continue that which was an integral part of her life's mission."

The concert takes place on March 12 at 7.30 p.mm at the Southampton Princess Hotel. Tickets are on sale at the Christian Book store in the Washington Mall. Orders for the limited edition book can be placed by calling 537-6749.