Dear Annie: Since I was very young, I have had an obsession with my health. As time goes on, it's gotten worse. I am in constant fear of having some kind of terminal illness and often can barely cope.

I am only in my late 20s and am afraid I'm worrying my life away. I don't enjoy anything anymore and spend most of my time crying or fretting.

This anxiety becomes so intense at times that I feel I'd be better off dead. My husband and family are tired of hearing about my fears and ignore me when I try to share my feelings with them.

Doctors tell me I'm perfectly healthy, but I still can't let go of the fear. I tried taking an anti-anxiety medication, but ended up gaining 30 pounds and I don't think the medication helped.

I don't know what to do. All I know is that I cannot continue to live like this. Please help. – Anxious

Dear Anxious: You have an obsessive-compulsive disorder. It can probably be helped with both counselling and medication, but you must be willing to allow the medication to take effect or, if it doesn't seem to be helping, try a different one.

It may take a little trial-and-error to find the one that works best for you. Under the circumstances, it's worth the effort. Go back to the doctor who recommended your initial medication and ask for something else.

Also contact the Obsessive Compulsive Foundation (ocfoundation.org), PO Box 961029, Boston, Massachusetts 02196.

Dear Annie: Our son is getting married at the end of May. It will be an evening wedding and the invitations suggest cocktail attire.

My husband thinks a light tan summer suit is fine, but I say it does not fit cocktail attire. I'm trying to convince him to wear a black suit. Please help. – Questioning Cocktail Attire in Virginia

Dear Virginia: Your husband is wrong. As the father of the groom, his style should match that of the groomsmen.

Unless they all are wearing light tan summer suits, his choice is inappropriate, and for an evening event, he really ought to be more formally attired.

Even if he is not participating in the ceremony and all the male guests show up in khaki, Dad should be wearing, at minimum, a dark suit.

Dear Annie: There is more that could have been said to "Disappointed and Furious'', who has had trouble paying for dental care.

There are options for lower-cost dental care, including dental schools, dental hygiene schools and public health clinics. For more information about these options, you can see the website run by the National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research.

In addition, many local professional dental associations will have information on the same subject. I hope Disappointed gets the necessary financial help. – Toledo, Ohio

Dear Toledo: Thank you for this excellent information. To find out if there is a dental school in your area, check your phone book for your state dental society or association.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, PO Box 118190, Chicago, Illinois 60611.