The pregnant widow of murdered Bermudian aid worker Colin Lee will return to Africa soon after the couple's baby is born, she revealed yesterday.

Hedwig Lee, 35, told she planned to go back as soon as possible with her child, due in May, to the continent where her husband was gunned down in front of her.

"If I could, I would be there now," she said. "Colin and I, we had big plans and they need to be fulfilled. The vision doesn't change.

"I won't be so mobile and so out in the frontline. I might be more involved in training people to do the frontline work."

Mrs. Lee, from Paraguay, also confirmed she would return to Sudan, the country where Mr. Lee, 57, was murdered by members of the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA) and was not concerned about taking her newborn baby into a war zone.

"I will return to Sudan. You see, the blood of my husband is there. That's where I spent the last time with him. That's where his heart was burning.

"It is my child," she added. "There are millions of children in Africa and there are many foreign children living in Africa. It's just as safe as anywhere else."

She said she was coping with her grief, but added: "You don't see me in the hours when I am crying. I miss Colin so much, very much."

The couple were travelling through Sudan last November on their way to help war victims for the charity International Aid Services (IAS) when they were ambushed and robbed.

Mrs. Lee believes the killers were children abducted by the LRA from villages in Uganda. They shot Mr. Lee, whose home church was the Better Covenant Christian Fellowship, in the heart and throat and he died six agonising hours later, after his wife dragged his body away from their car, which was about to be set on fire.

She spoke for the first time yesterday about the horrific attack and her husband's death.

"He was so fearless," she said. "To his last breath there was not a drop of fear. He was very peaceful to the last breath. He was very strongly anchored in Christ.

"I had about ten of their guns on my chest at one point," she added. "It can't be anything but God who stopped them from shooting me.

"Usually if they do not kill they would have abducted me and I would have been a sex slave. They didn't touch me at all. I didn't see all the faces but I saw one face of this girl. I carried Colin away so we wouldn't be burnt in the fire. We looked back for one second and we saw the car burning and I just saw this face and she looked so sad.

"And that's when I realised these kids are not voluntarily doing what they are doing. I felt compassion for them. I never have felt hatred or revenge. My heart is burning that they will be set free. That's what I so much desire."

Mrs. Lee revealed that her husband, whom she married in October 2004 and who had three children from previous relationships, was excited about her pregnancy.

"I so much wish that the child and Colin could meet," she said. "Colin was so excited. He was waiting for the child. What comforts me is that the child got his father's blessing.

"He blessed the baby right from the day of conception. He knew it from the first minute. Every evening he lay his hand on my belly and blessed the child and spoke life into the child."

She said her pregnancy had been a difficult one, meaning she was unable to go home to Paraguay. Instead, she has been recovering from her ordeal on the Island, with the help of friends and Mr. Lee's family, to whom she has grown very close.

Their support and her deep religious faith means she has no fear about bringing up the child alone.

"I haven't been nervous," she said. "I have gone through many challenges in life already. Things have prepared me to go through the next step.

"I would love the child to meet his or her heroic father. That's what I feel sorry about ? that they won't meet here. But they will meet in heaven. I want the child. I believe the child will be a continuation of what already has started."

She met Mr. Lee, nicknamed Reverend and a former Francis Patton and St. George's Secondary School pupil, more than two years ago on a three-month retreat at a Christian school in England. "He absolutely fell in love with me," she laughed. "I was so purpose-minded that he didn't feature into my picture of aid in Africa. I didn't know that God was preparing his heart and he was coming to Africa.

"On my way back to Africa, God spoke to me that we would work and minister together as a couple. That's when I fell totally in love. And I have never fallen out of it."

Since Mr. Lee's death, his widow and her supporters have registered a Bermudian chapter of ILA. The organisation will help youths involved in street gangs in Bermuda and encourage youngsters to travel to Africa to work as volunteers.

"It's comforting to know that the work has not ended ? it's just beginning," said Mrs. Lee. "And it so challenges me. I can't give up now. I believe Colin's death was not in vain.

"That's why my dream is also to see Bermuda more involved. I'm dreaming of seeing young people from Bermuda go out there to help.

"I think Colin was, in a sense, a Bermudian pioneer. He showed Bermuda that independent of your age or your background or whatever, you can contribute to peace and reconciliation."

She said she thought her husband would be "absolutely excited" about her plans to return to Africa, despite the risks.

"We weren't unprepared," she said. "We have talked. We knew that our mission involved risks and we have had much open talk about the possibility that one of us might be murdered. Life can be dangerous, but that doesn't hinder us. To be a disciple of Jesus Christ means to be ready to lose your life. It's not about us as individuals. The picture is far bigger."

Colin Lee's sister Gaylhia LeMay, president of ILA Bermuda, said Mr. Lee's family and Hedwig wanted to thank everybody on the Island who had given moral support since Mr. Lee's death. "There are so many people to thank," she said. "The moral support has been overwhelming."