retail history, but maybe not for long.

Plans by Calypso to open a Benetton shop on Reid Street could see the arrival of the Italian company's ads which recently the Vatican condemned as "image terrorism''.

Benetton's campaigns, which highlight social problems, have stirred outrage with images of a dying AIDS patient, a priest and a nun kissing, and the latest -- a photograph of the blood-drenched clothes of a soldier killed in Bosnia. Critics say the ads exploit human suffering.

Yesterday, Calypso general manager Mr. Pierre Dutoya said Benetton advertising upset a lot of people and pleased a lot of people, "but everyone is talking about Benetton''.

He didn't think Benetton would use its ads in Bermuda except possibly for the opening in April.

*** Ever since Sam Donaldson's TV report, it seems Americans have been convinced the US Naval Air Station really is "Club Med''.

The news agency Reuters reported yesterday's official announcement by the Pentagon that the Base will close and "the facilities turned back over to Bermuda''.

Reuters correspondent Charles Aldinger, reporting from Washington, described the Base as "palm-dotted'', and said it "featured a golf course''.

This was news to Base staff. Said one: "We have no golf course -- unfortunately, I guess.'' *** With so many weighty matters to wrestle with, Mr. Ottiwell Simmons must feel a bit dizzy at times.

But surely there are limits to the disorientation of a BIU leader? Well, perhaps not. This week Mr. Simmons and an assortment of union comrades marched to the Hotel Employers of Bermuda.

Before the march, Mr. Simmons was not as geographically up to the mark as one would expect.

Asked where the HEB was based, he confessed, "Oh, that's another thing I have to find out'', adding: "I think it's Reid Street...no, King Street...no Reid Street.''