from the critics, it would seem.

Not content with branding his one-man act a big yawn, they have now given it a most unkind X-rating as well.

Raise your eyes a bit, and you will see what we mean.

These warning leaflets have been doing the rounds of late, and have even been spotted in the back of people's cars.

Pull down the curtain of the Sir John Swan horror show, they scream.

All of which seems a trifle unsporting -- while Sir John may have been a bit lax about the advance publicity for his act, he has been making up for lost time ever since. Preparing with great zeal for his much-hyped August 15 Command Performance, when the referendum will be held.

You could say Bermuda's most famous Swan has been taking the bird of late.

But, then again, most politicians have their crosses to bear ...

*** It seemed a simple enough task for effervescent UBP Sen. Larry Scott. After all he has done it countless times.

But during Wednesday's session in the Upper House, the good Senator was seen to stumble over his words as he attempted to ask fellow senators to recognise the bravery of a member of the Bermuda Police Service.

Was he nervous? Had he spent one too many sleepless nights worrying about the day's debate? No one knows why but the usually loquacious and self-assured Sen. Scott was reduced -- albeit for a mere seven seconds -- to a bumbling, stuttering, shadow of his usual self.

The venerable senator, an esteemed member of our legal fraternity no less, began his presentation with the usual rhetorical flourish and purple prose. He recounted in stirring cadences the events leading up to Sgt. Singh's heroic deed on June 9.

So far the sailing was smooth. Suddenly, Sen. Scott became distracted as he searched the recesses of his agile mind for the correct word to describe the baby's affliction.

The baby had stopped breathing and needed resuscitation but Sen. Scott was unequal to the task of communicating this fact. He finally told his fellow senators that the baby had lost breath.

And then he became unglued. He said "Sen.'' Singh, the brave Police officer, responded to the call instead of Sgt. Singh, which provoked wry smiles and laughter from fellow senators and one Royal Gazette scribe.

But Sen. Scott was simply unflappable. As Senate President the Hon. Albert Jackson attempted to assist him, Sen. Scott abandoned the usual protocol used to refer to the leader of the Senate and called him Sen. Jackson instead.

Fortunately, Sen. Scott was able to recover from this moment and finished his speech none the worse for wear.

*** It is usually pretty hot and humid when the official Queen's Birthday rolls around in June. It wasn't much different this year despite the fact that we have had a cool and cloudy spring and early summer.

Pity the long string of Governors who have had to lead cheers for Her Majesty on Front Street while wearing uniform, plumes and medals and then attend a tented party on the lawn at Government House with a throng of hatted and suited people. Pity the Governor's lady too.

This year the Waddingtons completed their formal duties and very sensibly drove themselves off to US Consul General Robert Farmer's beautiful beach at `Chelston' in the small red Government House car to cool out.

But the experience turned out to be pretty hot. When it was time to return to Mount Langton after the delights of Grape Bay, the little red car couldn't.

Huff and puff and whatever to no avail. Help was summoned. Consul General Bob Farmer responded. Some other people too. Finally, it worked and as the First Couple drove off, Lady Waddington was heard to say: "I wish we had a camera to take a picture of Andrew Trimingham pushing the Government House car.'' As for us, we wish Royal Gazette photographer Tony Cordeiro had been there! SWAN-SONG -- The leaflet calling for Bermudians to clip Sir John Swan's wings in the August 15 Independence referendum.