Final Steps group discuss end-of-life
Tough topics surrounding end-of-life were tackled at an event held at the weekend.
The event, dubbed “The Departure Lounge”, was put on by the group Final Steps at St Mary’s Church hall in Warwick.
Jasen Moniz, a group member, believes people too often shy away from the subjects the event sought to address.
“We tend to avoid the distressing topics such as death and dying, and elder care and some of the declines that happen with ageing,” she said.
“Nobody wants to talk about that. But it’s important that you share what’s important with your family so that they can, ideally, respect your choices.
“They can be your advocate; they can be there with you until the very end.”
Ms Moniz said the event was meant to be a “thought-provoking exercise, but in a very light-hearted, user-friendly manner”.
She added: “We want to get people feeling more comfortable talking about end-of-life topics, sharing their end-of-life choices with the people that they love and trust.”
Ms Moniz said that the family friendly event was the first the group had staged.
“We would love to be able to do a similar event at both ends of the island,” she added.
Ms Moniz hopes the event would act as a momentum builder.
“We expect we’ll get some requests to come and make presentations to various groups that are represented here today.”
Saturday’s event, held at St Mary’s Church hall, in Warwick, included several information sessions.
Stephanie Matthews, a lawyer with MJM Ltd, said that the gathering provided a chance to educate the public.
“Any event like this, that’s getting the word out about estate planning, is a good thing,” she said.
“Nobody likes to think about [end-of-life], but it is something that needs to be thought about.”
Ms Matthews, who acknowledged that questions were asked about wills and property, said that talking about the matter often provided relief to people.
She explained: “People usually find that when they start thinking about it, although they don’t like to think about it, once they’ve addressed those issues, it’s a big weight off their shoulders. They actually have piece of mind.
“We need more of these events.”
Leon Amis, of Amis Memorial Chapel, agreed.
“It’s a good thing,” he said. “It’s important to find out what Mum wanted, or what Dad wanted, and try to stay to that.”
Mr Amis, who has worked in the funeral business for 56 years, said the rising costs of living in Bermuda also made honest discussions all the more important.
He highlighted a woman who had selected an inexpensive coffin in which she wanted to be buried.
Mr Amis said that if the choice had been left to her family, they might have selected a more expensive option.
Kerry Brislane, of the Bermuda Organ Donation Association, said that it was essential that people discussed their wishes with loved ones. She added: “In Bermuda, we don’t have an organ donor register. The only way we actually get permission to donate organs is through the family.”
Dr Brislane said that while people could opt on their driver’s licence to be an organ donor, their wishes could be overruled by family members.
She countered that organ donation often provides a source of comfort to a family devastated by the loss of a loved one.
Dr Brislane explained: “They feel that the memory is served well, of that person, knowing that they have given life to another person.”