Being on the bench has become a regular thing for me in recent weeks.

The manager, Kevin Keegan, has continued with his policy of playing Nicolas Anelka and Robbie Fowler from the start and that has meant my opportunities have been limited to five or ten minutes here and there.

That is not a good feeling because you always train and play with the hope that you can persuade the manager into picking you.

But I have known for a while now that I wouldn't be starting the next match. It goes back as far as the derby game against Manchester United.

It's disappointing to a certain extent because you like to go into games thinking that at least you have a chance of a start. But I am more certain that I won't start in games than I will now and that's where it gets frustrating.

Knowing I have a chance of playing at the weekend if I train hard keeps my focus on the job in hand.

But if I start to think that it doesn't make a difference it will affect my thinking, my whole body language and, consequently, my performance when I am asked to come on.

Although you might play for just a short space of time as substitute you can still play a major part in the game.

Sometimes you get the chance to play that quality through ball that has been needed all game. It only needs one good pass and someone is clear through on goal. But if your mind is not right you can pass up that chance.

What I also want to avoid is using coming on for a few minutes here and there as an excuse for not playing well.

To some degree it is out of my hands, but not totally. If I continue to play well, even for a limited time, and score goals other people see you and they will say `Why not throw him in?'

Hopefully that could change the gaffer's thinking.

Prior to coming on at the end of the 1-0 loss to Blackburn at the weekend I played in the reserve game against Bolton. We lost 2-1 but I managed to get my name on the scoresheet.

It was important because it had been several weeks since I had played anything close to 90 minutes.

The first team does not play until a week on Sunday, when Birmingham City are our opponents.

But we have two more reserve games back to back, tomorrow and Monday.

Obviously, I want to play but as yet we don't know who is going to be asked. We have heard that in the second one the gaffer may play the kids, but hopefully I'll get an opportunity in one or both of them, if nothing else just to keep myself ticking over.

With our loss to Blackburn, our hopes of securing a European spot are virtually over - but not completely. Someone was saying we could still get there through the UEFA Fair Play League. So it's still possible and, until it's not, we won't give up.

We still want to finish as high as possible because it's important, for one, financially, and secondly, having just got promoted, it would be good to say we have finished eighth, for example.

That would be brilliant and will surpass a lot of players' prior beliefs. Before a ball was kicked the majority might have predicted we'd finish around tenth. If we can finish close to the European places we will take it.

At the end of the day it's up to us.

- City's boardroom shock. Page 22.