Christmas has come too early for me in terms of playing a part in Reading's festive programme.

Though our physio felt that I might have recovered sufficiently from my knee operation to play some part in our Boxing Day game against Wimbledon, it is my belief that it is too soon.

You see there are no reserve games between now and then and, though I would love to be involved, I think it would put undue pressure on me.

If we were not playing well and I was on the bench then the manager might feel he'd have to bring me on.

For me to get through the game, even as a substitute, I would have to be fit and if the game went as the last one did on Saturday where we lost 3-0 to Crystal Palace, he could be looking at me at half-time. I, on the other hand, would be thinking 'well, I've got 20 minutes in me'.

Matches are totally different to training and although I've done a lot of running, any player will tell you you can do all the running in the world, it's actual playing that gets you back to fitness.

Knowing that I had not had a game beforehand, I would not want to sit on the bench and be called on for anything more than 20 minutes as I know I would be shattered.

I honestly hope I am fit and if I am selected then it's not something you turn down but realistically I don't think I will be.

I would prefer to look at the start of the New Year by which time I will have fully tested myself in terms of scrimmages in training and so forth.

After two defeats recently I would probably have found myself back in the starting line-up. But from my point of view I would rather be coming back into a form team and be told 'the team's doing well, you're on the bench, bide your time'.

If that was the case I would be like a new signing. I'd be champing at the bit to get an opportunity but in a situation like the one now it would more likely be that 'we are waiting for Shaun Goater to get fit'.

If after two or three results things have not changed around people would be saying 'well, what are we waiting for now'. All the pressure would be on myself.

Believe me, I would take it and deal with it, as I have in the past, but ideally I'd like to have to force my way into a team full of confidence so that there are no great expectations upon myself. That way I can ease myself into the situation rather than being thrown in at the deep end and told to produce.

The mood in the dressing room is mixed at the moment following the last two games.

We are a bit down, especially as the last loss was at home. Players are never upbeat when you get beat, period. But to lose by three goals at home, it's then a long wait until the next game.

The next one cannot come soon enough then because that's the only way you can get that feeling out of your system.

Our chance, as I said earlier, will come against Wimbledon. They are at the foot of the table but that does not mean it will be an easy game, far from it.

In fact we have found that we have struggled against the teams we should be beating, while beating the teams that should give us difficulty.

On paper you might see this as a Wimbledon win.

Palace are also down near the bottom and the manager made us aware of this fact before we played them on Saturday. He said we needed to be picking up points where it was expected that we should.

Unfortunately, despite his pep talk we were still unable to do anything about it.

Perhaps we are not mentally psyched up enough to take on the lower ranked teams, in the way we would be if our opponents were in the top one or two.

You have to adopt a different mindset and, hopefully, that will be the case this week.