Zander Kirkland will not be going to the Olympics.

And the 21-year-old sailor, whose World Championship finish in Turkey was nowhere near enough to earn him a spot in the Bermuda contingent in Athens, is blaming the failure on his ability to balance his preparations.

The Laser sailor went all out on a desperate mission to get to Greece which meant taking a sabbatical from Tufts University and enduring a lonely stint in Europe which actually left him finishing further down the fleet than he had done at last year's Worlds in Cadiz.

"I finished 42nd country and missed the Olympic cut-off," said a disappointed Kirkland.

"Everyone including myself is probably wondering how it is that, after a serious campaign for the past five months, I performed much better in last year's Worlds in Cadiz than in this year's Worlds ? I would have qualified with countries to spare last year and people who have never beaten me before, beat me here (in Bodrum).

"I think it came down to a few things ? the most important one was that the killer instinct drive that is necessary at the world class level had gone missing.

"Dino (Weber, Kirkland's coach) joined me for the Worlds and noticed that I was noticeably 'mentally tired' as compared to the Pan Ams last August. We talked about the need for balance and there was not much of that this spring.

"I never could really relax and get my mind off sailing ? very frustrating.

"At times it has been a very long three months living out of a suitcase and being alone overseas. Dancing and jamming in front of the mirror in random hotel rooms and checking my e-mail helped kept my sanity."

Kirkland will now finish off his season with a regatta in Holland before returning to Bermuda a disappointed man.

"I should have come home and recharged after the March boot camp in France. It is a strange feeling to be burnt out," he added.

"You just find it very difficult to passionately care about a race. My starts were terrible in Turkey for the most part ? not that that mattered when it got so windy.

"It did not help that I was one of the lightest guys competing at 76kg or 168. It is tricky to keep the weight on when you are on the road all the time."

Kirkland, while stating that he didn't want to "sound sore and lame" also lay some of the blame at the door of the Race Committee, whose obsession to wait for the "perfect wind" meant "two days of abandoned racing and much time wasted on the water even when healthy breezes were blowing".